


Tickle Me Pink

by somethingtreeish



Series: May And Ben! [2]
Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, British Actor RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-02-20 06:14:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2418020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingtreeish/pseuds/somethingtreeish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to 'If I Didn't Know!' </p><p>May and Ben have been attempting, and succeeding, at a long distance relationship for the past 6 months. May gets a promotion at work which is taking her to London! Nervous and excited, she tells Ben and he is overjoyed that his girlfriend is going to live so close. </p><p>But how will they handle it when things don't go exactly as they plan?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Look! A sequel! My first ever sequel to be exact! I hope you all enjoy :). Smut in this chapter so it's probably best to read away from prying eyes! I promise it's not going to be all smut though! There will be some story, we swears it. Let me know what you think! Or you know, don't! Just make sure you enjoy it!

Tickle me pink!  
I'm rosy as a flushed red apple skin,  
Except I've never been as sweet.  
I've rolled around the orchard,  
And found myself too awkward.  
Tickle me green, I'm too naive.  
 ** _Tickle Me Pink_** \- **Johnny Flynn**

"I can't wait to see you, May. It's been ages," Ben whines through the phone while May continues working with the spreadsheets on her computer. "Don't you miss me?"

"What?" May asks, alarmed. "Of course I miss you! I was just finishing up." She saves her spreadsheet and e-mails it off to her boss. It just so happens that May is getting all of her work ready to hand off to her replacement because she is being promoted. The charity she works for is opening up a chapter in London and they've asked her to oversee the entire project. May fell over herself to accept as the allure of more power and responsibility has her completely excited. If you were to twist her arm just slightly, she'd tell you that being close to Ben might be a nice perk as well.

"So, what were we talking about?" May asks, giving Ben her full attention. 

"How much I miss you," Ben says flatly. 

"Ah, yes. Well. You'll see me tomorrow night. I cannot wait, Benedict. You do realize we haven't... you know... since the premiere."

"Darling, believe me. I know," Ben said seriously, making May give an uncharacteristically shrill giggle.

Of course Chuck chooses this exact time to walk past her office and raise an eyebrow making her giggle even harder.

"Ben, you're making me look unprofessional in front of my subordinates!" May exclaims loud enough for Chuck to hear in his office. She smiles as she hears Chuck scoff. "Sorry, just messing with Chuck. So, I've got a surprise for you when you get here."

"Really?" Ben asks, sounding slightly out of breath.

"I'm kind of nervous as to how you'll react to it, though." May chews on her freshly manicured thumb nail as she worries about his reaction to her moving to London. May has flown out to see Benedict quite a few times since the premiere of his and Claire's movie under the pretense that she was there to see his play and be a supportive girlfriend. Which, to be fair, was true. However she was also there to oversee the renovation of the new office building for the 'To Be Determined' London branch and also to find somewhere to live.

"There's no need to be nervous, sweetheart. I'll be far too focused on your tits to care about anything else anyway."

"Benedict!" May exclaims. "I might not let you see them with that attitude!" Ben laughs loudly and May looks out of her office to see all of the secretaries milling about by her door.

"You sound much healthier than the last time we spoke, by the way."

"Antibiotics, my friend," May says, locking eyes with her own nervous-looking secretary who quickly looks away.

"I have a surprise for you too, actually. And I'm a little frightened of your reaction to be honest, especially after all of this hostility you're showing me right now," Ben says.

"What did you do?" May asks, standing up and walking around her desk to see what the commotion is.

"Err," Ben says, but not over the phone this time as he is striding into her office with a big grin on his face. "Surprise!"

"Ahhh!" May yells, dropping her phone and running to him. "I can't believe you hid this from me!" May wraps her arms around him and he returns the gesture, kissing her head. "How did you get here?"

"I swam," Ben says, laughing.

"I mean," May says, rolling her eyes and kissing him, "how did you know where to come? You've never been here before!"

"Actually, I've had this all planned with Chuck for a week and he picked me up at the airport. Nice bloke."

"He thinks so too. Ben! You're here!" May steps back from Ben and gives him a good once over. "Thank God."

"Mmm, are you almost done here, love?" Ben asks, his voice going lower so that only May could hear.

"Give me ten minutes? I know the girls out there are dying to meet you."

"Of course, darling. Mind if I leave my things in here?" Ben asks sweetly.

"Just drop them wherever." Ben drops them where he stands. "Cheeky," May says, trying and failing to mimic Ben's accent.

Ben laughs. "I love you, May."

"I love you too. Now go away so I can finish working and—" she takes a deep breath, "get you home." May swats him playfully on the ass before he walks out into the lobby. "He's all yours, ladies!"

...

After May has finished her work and Ben has completely charmed the entirety of May's workplace, she ushers him out the door and into a waiting cab.

"Did I hear one of them ask if you knew the Queen?" May laughs as she pulls Ben's hand into her lap.

"Yes, I believe it was your assistant -- Betty, I think her name was? She was sweet."

"Yes, I heard you ask for her number in case things went bad for us," May laughs, "but she stayed totally true to her boss. Solidarity!" May smiles at Ben and he leans across the back seat and kisses her.

"I'm dying to see your place. I've seen parts of it in pictures and FaceTime but never as a whole," Ben says, wrapping an arm around May and pulling her closer.

"It's a complete mess right now because someone didn't tell me he was coming," May teases, resting her head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Your complete mess is a normal person's clean, May. I'm sure it's fine. That reminds me though! What's my surprise? I'm dying to know." Ben sits completely straight and almost bounces in his seat upon remembering. "Tell me!"

May sits back up and turns sideways to face his side of the backseat. "Wouldn't you like to know? I had a whole thing planned tomorrow when you came in. I was going to take you to dinner, wine you and dine you, and tell you over a romantic dessert back at my place. I'd tell you now but I have reservations that would go to waste," May says carelessly, picking at a non-existent hangnail.

"May."

"Yes, Benedict?" She looks up at him with an eyebrow raised.

Ben looks incredulous and says, "You're horrible at waiting. I'll have it out of you."

"You think so, huh?" May says with a confident smirk, looking back at Ben.

"I know how to work my girlfriend."

May gives a non-committal noise and looks out of her window again.

"As a matter of fact," Ben purrs into her ear, making May jump as she didn't realize he had gotten so close. "I remember my girlfriend telling me she hasn't had an orgasm since July. 'Too busy,' I think she said. Well it just so happens a little birdy told me your schedule and I've got a few days to get you to... ah, come—" he draws the word out tortuously slow, "around to my way of thinking." May tries and fails to hide a shudder of delight which makes Benedict grin.

The car suddenly comes to a stop in front of May's building. She and Benedict get out after May pays the driver and Ben gets his things out of the trunk.

"I was going to pay for that!" Ben says as the taxi drives away.

"No time. Get upstairs, please," May says, ushering him along the sidewalk.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Ben asks, smirking.

"July was a long time ago, Ben," May says seriously as she hurries past Benedict and up the stairs to her floor.

Once they get to her front door, May unlocks it and walks inside, Ben following her. He places his things on the floor as May shuts and locks the door. Ben looks around from where he's standing.

"It's smaller than I thought," Ben says. "And don't say 'that's what she said,'" he blurts out hastily as he turns to face May to see her walking closer to him.

"Wasn't going to," May says in a low voice as she pushes Ben against the wall, stands on her tip toes, and kisses him hard.

"Aren't we eager?" Ben teases when May stops kissing him to unbutton his shirt.

May is plenty eager. She's spent the last few days with a constant warmth in her belly just thinking about seeing Benedict again. Now the warmth has moved lower and all May can think about is having him inside of her in any way possible.

May ignores his teasing. "I've missed your body, Ben. I've missed the way it feels under my fingers," she says as soon as she gets his shirt open. She splays her hands out on his chest and runs them firmly down, watching how his skin gives ever so slightly under her touch. Once May's fingers reach the waistband of his jeans, she puts them in and pulls him flush with her body. She begins placing open mouth kisses on the sparse hair in the middle of his chest.

"Fuck May, I've missed you so much," Ben growls, threading his hands through her hair.

"Mmmm," May responds, her lips continuing their trek down Benedict's body. When she gets low enough she kneels, her hands deftly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, shoving them down along with his underwear and pulling out his cock.

Ben watches as May's eyes widen in lust at how big and hard he is for her. When she takes him into her mouth, she looks up at him through her eyelashes, grabs the base of his dick with one hand and starts to move it in sync with her mouth.

Ben's moans and curses make her even hungrier for him. She starts taking him harder and deeper. After a few moments, Ben's hand, still in May's hair, pulls her away from his dick and and back up on her feet. He chuckles darkly at the anger on her face before he crashes his lips to hers. He leads them both toward the bed, kicking off his pants and underwear on the way. Ben pushes May onto the bed. She immediately begins scooting back and Ben follows her on all fours. He lifts up her skirt and is annoyed at the opaque black tights shielding her from him. He impatiently tears them open directly over her heat. May can't bring herself to be angry that he's just ruined her most expensive pair of tights as her desperation for him has thoroughly taken hold of her.

Ben buries his face in her newly exposed cunt and begins lapping at her greedily. May grasps the back of his head, urging him on. May has missed Ben's talented lips and tongue and it doesn't take long before the delicious glow begins to grow inside of her. She pulls his head away. This time it's her turn to chuckle at the look on his face at being stopped. 

"I need you inside of me or I'm going to burst," May says, pushing him off of her and onto his back. She straddles his hips. Ben pushes up her top and bra in one motion and grasps her breasts, running his thumbs over her nipples. May cries out, leaning back and placing her hands on his thighs for balance as she begins moving herself over his hard cock, slicking him up with her moisture. "Fuck me, Ben. Please, fuck me right now."

Ben grabs her waist and turns them both over so that May is beneath him. She spreads her legs wide and he guides himself in painfully slow. May moans as she adjusts to being filled for the first time in months, reveling in the heavenly way he stretches her.

As soon Ben is all the way inside of her, he presses his forehead to hers and begins to move. "I love you."

May looks up at him, smiles and says, "I love you too."

They begin moving together, slow at first, and then faster. Ben moves a hand down to play with her clit and bends down to take a nipple into his mouth. He lightly bites down, pulling back a bit and May arches her back allowing him to go even deeper. 

"I've missed your gorgeous breasts," Ben says between kisses, licks, and nibbles. "I've missed being so deep inside you. I've missed the way you whimper for me." He punctuates every other word with a hard thrust and a grind. 

"Oh, God," May cries out, and she doesn't think she's been this turned on in her life. 

"Yes, you feel so good around me, darling. Fuck," Ben grunts as May clenches around him. 

"Fuck me harder, Ben." Ben complies, pounding into her, increasing his finger's speed on her clit.

"Christ Ben, I'm so close," she says, her breaths becoming shallow. 

Ben brings his face closer to her head, putting his lips next to her ear. All of a sudden, his hand stops moving on her clit and he stops thrusting. "What's my surprise?"

May's mouth drops open, disbelieving. "Benedict."

"Tell me, May," he says, a playful glint in his eye. She can tell he's having a hard time controlling himself so she continues to move, but he presses his hands down on her hips to keep her still. "What. Is. My. Prize?" At every word he thrusts into her agonizingly slow. 

"Oh my God, Ben," May says, exasperated. "I'm moving to London. Now fuck me!"

"What? Are you serious? When did you-" he stops short at the murderous look on May's face.

"Benedict Cumberbatch! If you don't finish fucking me right now I am going to move to fucking Antarctica and you will never see me again," she says half serious and half laughing.

Ben laughs and kisses her, and they quickly get back into the rhythm they had started, continuing on until they are both a spent pile of limbs on the bed. 

Once May has caught her breath she looks over at Ben. "You know, I'm a little concerned that you can be distracted so easily from sex with me. I need to up my game." 

Ben rolls over and faces her with a big grin. "Your game is fine, darling. It would take something I've been fantasizing about since I met you to stop me fucking you. You moving to London is just that! Why are you moving? How long have you known?" 

"I've known for a while now," she says nervously. May gets off the bed and begins pulling off her destroyed tights. "They came to me after I pulled a huge investment and told me they wanted to open up offices in London. They want me to oversee everything." Ben gives a proud smile and May continues. "Every time I came out to see you in England I was also scouting for offices and a place to live. It's how I was able to afford to come out so much. It was on the charity's dime." 

"You should have told me! I could have helped you," Ben says with disappointment. "Especially with a place to live. I don't want you to end up somewhere dodgy." Ben makes a face and May laughs. 

"I didn't want to say anything until I was completely sure it was happening! I didn't want to get your hopes up again and end up disappointing you," May says, grimacing. 

"May, I'm sorry you felt like you had to hide it from me. But I am so excited. When are you moving? Is there anything I can do to help?" 

"I'm moving at the end of December. I'm going to have Christmas with my family, Claire, and Emilia and then I'm going to fly out. My stuff should be there about a week later. I'm staying in a hotel until then," May says as she pulls on a pair of jeans. 

"Nonsense. You'll stay with me," Ben says, standing up and pulling his clothes on as well. 

"Oh, I don't want to put you out!" 

"May, you're my girlfriend. How in the hell are you going to put me out?" Ben asks, buttoning his shirt.

"If you promise it's not a problem. The hotel is already booked though I'm sure they can cancel," May trails off as Ben comes up to her and pulls her into his arms, hugging her tightly. 

"Cancel," he says as he moves back to face her. "I'm so bloody excited. This is the greatest news!" 

"I'm so glad," May says with a relieved sigh. "I was so worried you'd, I don't know, be scared that I'd crowd your space or whatever." 

"Crowd my space? May! We're in a relationship, I want you to crowd my space!" 

"I want you to crowd my space too." She steps back from him and sighs. "So, you're really excited? Like, really and truly?" 

"Yes, I am well and truly excited. I love you so much, May. I can't wait to share London with you. It's my favorite place in the world." 

May smiles at him as he pulls a sweater out of his suitcase. "I love you too, Ben." May is still nervous about the move but she feels a lot better knowing that Ben is excited to have her there. When they finish getting re-dressed May and Ben go out to dinner to celebrate her promotion and they celebrate even more once they get home.


	2. Make A Plan To Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to have a face claim post for my characters up on my tumblr in a bit! If you want to check it out then I'm treefingerswrites over there! If you'd rather just imagine your own people then by all means, keep on keepin' on! 
> 
> PS! Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos. Honestly, you guys are the absolute best.

Do what you feel.   
Whatever is cool.   
But I just have to ask,   
Will you make a plan to love me?  
Will you make a plan to love me?  
Will you make a plan to love me sometime soon?  
Make A Plan To Love Me - Bright Eyes

Six Weeks Later

"I love this place," May says sullenly, wrapping a wine glass in newspaper. "I hate leaving it." 

"You don't have to leave. You could totally stay here. London is lame anyway," Chuck says. He's been over at May's helping her pack for the past three hours. "Hey! It's Clinton's coin!" 

"Oh, thank God! I thought I lost it!" May says, jumping over at Chuck and taking it deftly from his hand. "I need to have this framed or something." 

"What happened to being Miss Organization? I'm surprised you don't have it cataloged in a filing cabinet somewhere," Chuck teases. 

May ignores him and looks out of her window wistfully. "It seems like forever ago that we met him, doesn't it?" 

"It does. I just had lunch with him the other day. He's very proud of you, May." 

"Ugh, stop talking about it or I'll cry," May says, putting the dull half-dollar in an unused pocket in her wallet. 

Four Months Ago

May had run across Clinton for the first time on her way to work one morning. He was an older man with long grey hair tied back with a rubber band. His beard was bushy and white, and he reminded May of her grandfather. He had been wearing an old, tattered Rolling Stones Tour of the America's shirt and May had complimented him on it.

"I got it in Baton Rouge back in '75. It was the first stop," Joe had said kindly, offering May some of the coffee he had gotten from the Salvation Army earlier that morning. May thanked him but politely declined. She sat down on the sidewalk in front of him, shook his hand and introduced herself. Clinton smiled and told her his name. May told Clinton about the festival she had seen the Stones at a year prior.

After what seemed like a couple minutes, May looked at her watch to see that half an hour had passed.

"I'm so sorry to run, Clinton, but I've got a meeting that I can't be late for," May said, standing back up. "Here, take my card. If you ever need anything, please call me."

"Thanks, May. It's been great meeting you," Clinton said genuinely, taking the card from her hand. 

"You too, Clinton." 

At work that day, she had told Chuck all about Clinton and he was fascinated. The next day, May and Chuck went to where Clinton had been sitting the day before to find him still there. They asked if they could take him out to lunch and he obliged, too hungry to say no. During lunch they asked him to go with them to the dorms and he declined. 

"I just couldn't, in good conscience, take the spot of a younger man with much more life ahead of him," Clinton would say in a manner that let May and Chuck know that the discussion was over. 

Everyday, either May or Chuck, and sometimes both of them, would go and visit Clinton. They would try to give him money but he would never accept it, so instead they decided to bring him things they thought he would use. One day May brought him a new Rolling Stones shirt and they spent a couple of hours discussing their favorite albums. Another day Chuck brought him pants, socks, and underwear and spent the day talking about Vietnam.

Eventually, over two months of spending time with Clinton, he finally agreed to go to the dorms and try to get his life back on track. He was only there for a month before he found a job and To Be Determined helped him to lease an apartment. The day he moved out, May and Chuck had gone to see him and he gave May his lucky coin saying he didn't need it anymore. When she tried to decline, he insisted, saying that the only reason it was lucky was because it was the only one he had.

"Now I have plenty and it's thanks to you two. I can never repay you enough," Clinton said, his usually strong voice breaking slightly with emotion.

"Thank you for letting us get to know you. The pleasure is ours, really," Chuck said, openly tearing up.

"Clinton, promise you'll stay in touch?" May said, smiling at Chuck's emotional display.

"I promise," he said, gathering them both in a hug. "Peace, kids." And then he was gone.

....

Present Day

"Did Clinton tell you he got a promotion last week?" Chuck asks May.

"He did! How amazing is that? He's only been there for a month!" May exclaims with pride.

"He's a bad ass," Chuck agrees, finishing up a box and putting a new one together. He goes to the last shelf next to May's bed to pack the things up from there. "Awww man, the Bob Dylan candle," he says wistfully, turning and holding it out to May.

May smiles at him. "Why don't you keep it? I'm going to be staying with you when I come back for business anyway. You can put it on the shelf in your spare room and make it a bit more cool."

"Um, I'm sorry to tell you but the room is already cool."

"Yes, all white walls and a mattress on the floor. I don't know why people aren't harassing you to rent it out," May says flatly, putting a rubber band around a pair of her shoes and putting them in a box. She smiles to herself thinking of Claire's reaction to her shoe packing procedure. 

"I don't see your point but I'll take the candle anyway," Chuck says proudly, putting it in his messenger bag. "I'm starving by the way. What do you have to eat?"

"I've got some leftover Chinese from the other day in the fridge. If it's still there, then you're sharing."

Chuck goes over to the fridge and finds the carton of food. He hauls it out and sets it on the counter. He instinctively opens up the cabinet and then turns to May. "We packed your plates and I cannot abide cold lo mein."

"Just pull the metal thingy out of the carton and put it in the microwave. We can eat it out of that," May says.

A few minutes later, Chuck comes over with two forks he's scavenged from the kitchen box and they begin to eat.

"I'm kind of sad this is going to be our last meal together here," Chuck says as he hands the carton over to May.

"There's a Popsicle in the freezer we can split for dessert if you want to make the occasion more meaningful." May looks at Chuck once they're done eating. "Did that taste weird to you?"

"It did, but I was starving so I didn't question it," Chuck says, getting up to finish the box he was packing before the dinner break. 

"I'm sure it's fine." May's phone rings and she hops up to answer it. She smiles when she sees Ben's name on the screen. "Hey there."

"Hello darling. Are you busy?" Ben asks.

"Chuck and I are finishing packing. I have way too much stuff," May says looking around at all the boxes stacked on top of each other. "What are you doing up so late?"

"I couldn't sleep. I thought maybe we could FaceTime but Chuck is there so that might not be ideal."

"Probably not," May laughs, looking over at Chuck taping up another box. "Have you cemented your Christmas plans yet? What all are you and your family going to do?"

"Oh, a little of this, a little of that. The usual," Ben says flippantly. "Just another Christmas in London."

"Christmas in London sounds amazing," May says wistfully, thinking of how hot it's going to be at her parents. "Is it snowing there?"

"It is, actually. I wish you were here."

"I will be soon."

"Not soon enough," Ben says in a sing-song voice. "Anyway, I'll let you get back to your packing. The sooner you're done, the closer you are to me. I'll call you in the morning."

"I love you." May still gets a thrill every time she says this to Ben.

"I love you too, May," Ben says softly, and May doesn't think she'll ever grow tired of hearing him say it in return.

***  
About an hour later, May and Chuck realize that they've made a horrible mistake. It starts when Chuck groans and runs to the bathroom with his hand over his mouth. May runs after him.

"Chuck, are you alright?" May hears him begin to vomit and begins retching at the sound. She runs to her kitchen and digs in a box for a glass. She fills it with water and takes it back to the bathroom in time to see Chuck emerging, white as a sheet. "Here," she says gingerly, handing him the water.

Chuck takes it gratefully but hands it back before he can drink it and runs to the bathroom again to continue puking. This goes on for two hours before Chuck's stomach is empty. May frets over him, asking if they need to go to the ER or if she can go get him some Gatorade while he lies on the couch and waves her away. "I've got that Popsicle in the freezer still? You can have that!"

"Noooooo, just let me lay here for a minute," Chuck begs weakly. "I just need to rest." He opens one eye to look at May. "I'm sorry I killed your bathroom."

"It's nothing I haven't experienced with you before," May jokes.

"Too true," he groans, "except now I don't have an entire bottle of tequila still running through me to take my mind off the nausea." 

"I'm going to lay down. You can stay here tonight. I don't want you puking on the subway." May sets the glass of water from earlier on the floor next to the couch. She kisses his head, goes to lay down on her bed, and texts Benedict.

_Chuck and I ate bad lo mein. He's been puking for the last two hours. I'm feeling fine now, but who knows what it will be like in the morning. I'm making him sleep on my couch. Think good thoughts for my stomach, please._

***

May wakes up to her cell phone ringing. She fumbles with it a second before finally grasping it and swiping the screen to answer.

"Hello?" May asks groggily, looking her alarm clock. It reads 10:37 am. 'I must have been exhausted,' she thinks to herself. 

"Did I wake you? I'm so sorry, darling. Go back to sleep, I can call you later," Ben rambles apologetically.

"No, baby, it's fine," she says through a yawn. She stretches while looking over at her couch to see Chuck begin to stir. "It's nice to hear your voice."

"How're you feeling, May?"

"I'm feeling... weird. But okay."

"I suppose that's better than having your head in the bog," Ben says.

"Quite. What are you up to?"

"Adam and I are on our way to a meeting, actually. Talking to some people about a movie they want us to produce."

"Mmm, sounds like fun," May mumbles sleepily, curling up in the bed and pulling the duvet up around herself again. "I wish you were here. This bed is so warm and there's a crazy blizzard outside right now." All of a sudden Chuck pops off the couch like a jack-in-the-box and sprints to the bathroom. "Holy crap!" May exclaims, shocked out of her sleepiness.

"What's wrong?"

May gets out of bed and walks over to the open bathroom door that Chuck didn't have time to close. Chuck's heaves are so loud that May can hear Adam asking what the noise is.

"Is that Chuck?" Ben asks, alarmed.

"Yes. Oh, shit," May says breathlessly, the overwhelming urge to vomit making her run to her kitchen sink. She drops the phone on the counter and proceeds to puke violently. Once she's done, she rinses out her mouth, takes a few deep breaths and picks the phone back up. "Are you still there?"

"Yes. Christ, May, are you okay?"

"I actually feel better now. I'm gonna let you go so I can go check on Chuck. I'll call you later. Good luck at your meeting, I love you."

"I love you too, darling. Call me if you need me."

"A lot of good you'll do from England, but I'll let you know," May says in a joking tone.

"Yeah, yeah, just keep me updated. Tell Chuck I hope he feels better."

"I will. Bye Ben." May ends the call and walks to the bathroom door to see Chuck lying on the floor with his face pressed against the tiles. "Ben says he hopes you feel better."

Chuck groans in response.

"Please let me take you to the ER," May says, kneeling down next to him and stroking his hair.

Chuck groans again and then he nods. "Okay."

"Alright, dude. Get up and I'll call one of the company cars to come get us."

"I'm dying," Chuck says pathetically.

"I know. We'll get you feeling better, promise." May walks back into the kitchen to get her cell phone and a plastic bag just in case Chuck gets sick in the car.

***

It's seven p.m. before May walks back into her place. The movers are coming tomorrow so she finishes taping up the last few boxes and then grabs her computer and goes to her bed, sending a FaceTime request through to Benedict. Seconds later his face pops up on the screen. 

"Hello, lovely. You're looking beautiful this evening. How are you feeling?" 

"I'm feeling fine, actually. Exhausted, but fine. Chuck was severely dehydrated so they're keeping him overnight at the hospital. His mom came and relieved me." 

"I'm sorry he's ill, but I'm glad you were able to get him the help he needed. You're a good friend, darling." 

"If I was a good friend, I wouldn't have offered him old Chinese food for dinner," May says, laughing. 

"Nobody's perfect," Ben says, grinning. 

"I miss you so much. Knowing that we're going to be living so close to each other is making me miss you even more than I did before!" May whines. She grabs a pillow and hugs it in front of her. 

"I know the feeling. It's frustrating to know that it's so close to happening. Time seems to be moving quite slowly lately."

"I'm glad it's not just me then." May stares at Ben's face on the screen. "I wish I could kiss you. Your lips look so soft right now. I'm digging the stubble." 

"Thanks. I need a shave." 

"You should just grow it out for a bit. You don't have anything until after the new year, right? What's the harm?" 

"You've been watching too many shows about bearded men on motorcycles," Ben scoffs. 

"Hey, you're the one who made a big deal of taking me out on your bike! I'm just trying to do some research. You're my boyfriend! I'm taking an interest in your life." 

"You're ridiculous. And maybe I'll grow it out. It's been a while since I've had facial hair. It'll drive my mum mad." 

"Mmm, my boyfriend the rebel," May teases. "I think I'm going to turn in early. The movers are coming at seven a.m. tomorrow and my flight home leaves four hours later."

"I'm glad I got to see you for a bit. You really do look beautiful May. And I really really miss you." 

"I miss you too. So much. Love you, sweet dreams." 

"Love you too." 

May shuts her computer, turns out her light, and goes to sleep for the last time in her New York apartment.


	3. What Did I Miss Back Then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to get right, so sorry it took so long! The next chapter will be up soon as I've already written it as well :). I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think if you get a chance! :)

_I meant every word I said._   
_I never was lying when we talked in bed._   
_I'm retracing every step in my head._   
_What did I miss back then?_   
_I was so, so misled. Oh!_   
**When Did Your Heart Go Missing - Rooney**

 

May sighs as she exits the Florida airport to look for her dad's car. When she left New York, the sun was in the middle of the sky and it was freezing. Now, even though she's gained an hour due to time zones, the sky is already beginning to darken and the heat and humidity fog her glasses. As May takes them off to clean them with her shirt, she thinks anxiously about all the things she might have forgotten in the stress of this morning. She's spent the entire day feeling nauseated with a massive headache that no amount of ibuprofen can relieve.

As soon as her glasses are on her face again, she sees her father walking toward her, grinning and waving his arms. May returns the smile and opens her arms up wide when he reaches her, welcoming him in one of his massive dad hugs.

"How are ya, sweetheart?" Steven takes May gently by the shoulders and looks her over. "You look ill," he says seriously. "Is everything okay?"

"Thanks, dad," May drawls sarcastically. "I'm fine. I've just been feeling a bit under the weather today."

"Your mom and I told you to take a day between the movers coming and you flying down! You're stubborn like your mother."

"Yeah, that's who I got the stubbornness from." May elbows her dad lightly in the ribs. "Anyway, I missed my parents and I didn't want to wait to see them."

"Yeah, yeah," Steven says, kissing her on the head and grabbing her suitcase and carry on. "How was your flight?"

"I almost had to use the barf bag! The lady next to me looked really nervous."

"Ha! I'll bet she did." Steven looks sideways at May. "I'm sorry you're feeling bad, though. You can relax when we get home. Your mom has your room all done up for you."

"Thanks, dad."

As May and Steven get closer to the car she sees Claire sitting in the driver's side. Claire rolls down the windows and smirks at May.

"You let Claire drive your car?" May asks, indignant.

"She asked! She only stalled out once." Steven opens the trunk

"You never let me drive your car! I want to drive it home!"

"Now, May, no arguments. You're feeling sick anyways. Sit in the back seat and try not to get sick all over my seats."

"Merry Christmas, May!" Claire says as May pouts in the back seat. "Did the food poisoning finally catch up with you?"

"Food poisoning?" Steven turns around in his seat and stares back at May.

"Chuck was helping me pack the night before last and we ate old Chinese food. I had to take him to the hospital..."

"Jeez, is he alright?" Steven interrupts.

"He's fine. He got out earlier. He just got really dehydrated," May assures him.

"Is that why you're sick?"

"I've only been sick once and that was because Chuck was puking his guts up in my bathroom."

"Gross," Claire says, running a stop light while Steven is looking back at May.

"Yeah. I was on the phone with Ben when it happened. Not one of my more attractive moments."

"Old Ben!" Steven exclaims loudly, making May jump and Claire swerve into the opposite lane. "How is he?"

"Dad, why are you screaming?" May asks, startled.

"I'm not," he says, waving his hands around. "Am I not allowed to ask how my daughter's boyfriend is?"

"You are," May says, giving her dad a strange look. "He's fine, too. He's off for Christmas so he's spending it with his family."

"Great. That's great! Family is good." Steven starts tapping his foot and looking intently out of his window.

"Okay..." May says, bemused. "Where's Emilia?"

"She's helping Ginger with dinner," Claire says. "She's obsessed with the kitchen."

"It's a nice kitchen," Steven says jovially.

May is hit with a sudden wave of nausea and is spared responding when Claire stalls the car and Steven has to show her how to properly change gears.

When they finally make it home, May goes straight for the bathroom and vomits. As soon as she's done she can hear her mother enter behind her.

"Baby, are you all right?" Ginger says, kneeling next to May and pushing her hair out of her face.

"I think I have food poisoning," May groans, wiping her face with toilet paper.

"I've got some medicine and some Gatorade. Why don't you go lay down in your room and I'll bring you some supplies." She kisses May's head and helps her up off the floor.

May walks up the stairs and down the hall into her room. She grins when she walks inside. Her mom has her favorite candle lit in on her bedside table and all her favorite candies in a basket on the bed. She places the basket on her desk, pulls her covers back and climbs in. With the familiar smell of being home filling her nostrils, she quickly falls asleep.

***

May jumps up when she realizes the light shining on her face is the sun. She looks over at her clock to see that it reads 10:00 am. Seeing as how she got home around 5:00 pm last night she calculates that she's been asleep for almost seventeen hours.

May gets out of bed and goes to her bathroom. As soon as she sees the toilet, the urge to vomit is strong. She kneels down and lets it go. After she's done and is wiping her face off, she hears her bedroom door open. Claire comes into the bathroom with a bag from the local drug store.

"Did you just wake up, May?" Claire asks, sounding worried.

"Yes," May groans. "I don't know why I'm so tired." She leans up against the wall across from her toilet and closes her eyes.

"May, I'm going to ask you something and I don't want you to freak out."

"Okay..." May says, opening one eye to look at Claire.

"Are you pregnant?"

"Yes, of course, I'm pregnant! That could be the only thing wrong with me," May says rolling her eyes. "Wait, is that what you have in the bag?"

"Yes!" Claire exclaims, sounding as if it should be obvious.

"Oh my God, please tell me no one we know saw you buy that! My parents didn't drive you to the store, did they? Did they see you get it?"

"Calm down! I had Emilia go get it."

"This is ridiculous, Claire."

"Why is it ridiculous? You're tired, you're sick."

"I had bad Chinese food!"

"May, I've never known you to sleep more than six hours a night! Plus, you're not sick like Chuck was sick!"

"Claire, I've been on the pill since I was eighteen! I've never had a problem before. Plus, I've barely seen Ben. We've had sex once in the past six months!"

"Gross," Claire says, wincing. "When was the last time you had sex?"

"Like, two or so months ago."

"When you had that sinus infection?"

"Yes, what's that got to do with it?" May asks, standing up and walking to her sink to brush her teeth.

"You were on antibiotics, weren't you?" Claire asks tentatively.

"Yeah, so?"

"May, antibiotics mess up your birth control! Why do I know more about this than you do?"

"They do not! Surely they'd tell you if it messed up your freaking birth control!"

"Don't they print it on the bottle? Don't they put those weird little stickers on there with goofy faces?"

"I... I'm not pregnant. I'd know if I was pregnant, Claire," May says confidently while brushing her teeth.

"Will you take the test then?" Claire holds the test out to May.

"Ahm nawt pwegnawnt, Clawah," May says around her toothbrush.

"Then there's no problem with you taking the test!" Claire starts opening up the box as May spits into the sink and rinses out her mouth.

"Fine, Claire. I'll take it but only to shut you up. When it's negative, you're not allowed to talk to me about this anymore. Swears it."

"We swears it on the precious, you giant nerd," Claire says, exasperated.

May snatches the test out of Claire's hand and goes to the toilet. "I have to pee on it, right?"

Claire picks up the directions and begins to read. "Yes, hold it in your stream of pee for ten seconds."

May rolls her eyes and pulls her pants down. She does everything the instructions say and sets the test back on the counter. "Now what?"

"We wait three minutes," Claire says nervously.

"Well, while you're waiting I'm going to change my clothes."

"Fine," Claire says, putting the lid of the toilet down and taking a seat. She stares intently at the test as May walks out of the bathroom.

"Fine."

May's dad must have brought her luggage up last night while she was sleeping. She pulls the larger suitcase up on the bed, opens it, and changes out of yesterday's clothes. She goes to her mirror, pulls her hair up on top of her head and walks back into the bathroom.

"Well," May says smugly to Claire as she places her make up bag on her counter and opens it, "am I going to be a mommy?"

Claire is silent for a few moments before May thinks to look over at her.

"According to this you are," Claire says gently, holding the test out to May with its digital face reading "Pregnant."

"What? That's ridiculous. I'm not pregnant!"

"There are two tests in the box," Claire starts but May has already grabbed the box and pulled out the other one.

"Get off the toilet. I'm taking this again."

Claire quickly gets off the toilet so May can replace her and promptly take the second test. She sets the second test on the counter and pulls her pants back up.

"I can't be pregnant, Claire. I cannot be pregnant. This isn't going to happen. The test was wrong." May crosses her arms and looks away.

Claire stands next to May and hugs her from the side. "Whatever happens, it'll be fine. Ben's a good guy."

"Yeah, he is a good guy, which is why he'd hate having a child with me!"

"May! You'd be an amazing mother!"

"Not while I'm starting up a new charity in a new city in a new country, I'm not!"

"You'll figure it out!"

"What if he breaks up with me?"

"I'll fucking kill him, is what."

May is starting to feel nauseated again. "Has it been three minutes, yet?"

Claire looks at her watch. "Yes. Do you want me to look?"

"Yes," May says weakly, already guessing what it's going to say as Claire turns around and picks up the test.

"You're pregnant, May."

"Fuck," May says right before she throws up again.

Claire stands next to May, holding her hair, when they hear a knock at the door. Emilia pokes her head in.

"Is everything okay?"

"She's pregnant," Claire tells Emilia.

Emilia doesn't react, she just twists the lid off of the Gatorade May's mom left in her room last night and hands it to May.

"Your dad wants you two downstairs, now. He says he's got a surprise," Emilia says as May gratefully drinks.

"Yeah, I've got one too. Oh God, what am I going to say to everyone?"

"Nothing, right now," Claire says. "We're gonna go downstairs and get the prize and then we're gonna have a good Christmas. There's nothing you can do right now except try not to throw up on everyone."

May gives half a smile and gets back up. "Fine. I can do this. Let's go downstairs. You two go down first so it doesn't look weird."

"Why would it look weird?" Claire asks.

"I don't know, just do it. I'm going to brush my teeth again," May prattles on nervously, turning the faucet on and wetting her tooth brush.

Emilia and Claire obey and leave May by herself. May looks in the mirror when she's done brushing her teeth and tries to calm herself down. "What am I going to do?" May asks her reflection.

May waits a moment, then walks downstairs to see everyone sitting on the couch with her mom standing at the front door.

"What are you doing?" May asks. "Where's dad?"

"That's the surprise, May! By the way, how are you feeling, sweetie? I didn't want to wake you last night. You were sleeping so hard."

"I'm fine, a bit weak, but fine," May says, reaching the bottom step.

"Good. Just making sure. Anyways, are you ready for your prize?"

"I guess?" May says, slightly amused.

"Well, here you go!" Ginger says, swinging open the front door to reveal Benedict and her dad standing there with a suitcase.

May doesn't think her eyes have ever been as wide as they are at this moment. On one hand she's extremely excited to see Ben. On the other hand she's just found out she's pregnant with his child and has no idea whether or not that's something that's okay with him.

"Ben! You asshole! You kept this from me!" Claire yells out.

"It was a surprise for my girlfriend and you have a big mouth," Ben says jokingly as he pulls May into his arms. "Are you surprised, darling?"

"Yes! Surprised!" May exclaims, sounding like her dad did yesterday, realizing suddenly that being awkward when nervous runs in the family. "I thought you were spending the holidays with your family!"

"Yes, well, I'd rather spend them with you and your family. Plus, you've met my mum and dad so I thought it was time I met yours. Ginger and Steven invited me, so here I am!"

"Ginger and Steven," May says, bemused, looking over at her parents. "Is this why you were acting so weird yesterday, Dad?"

"I was acting perfectly normal," her dad says, picking up Ben's suitcase and taking it upstairs. "Let me show you to May's room, Ben."

"Yes sir. I'll be right back," Ben says so only May hears. He kisses her on the cheek, winks, and follows Steven up the stairs.

"Are you happy, honey?" Ginger asks May. "I know you're not feeling well, but it was too late to cancel."

"I'm really happy, thank you mommy." May hugs Ginger tightly and looks at Emilia and Claire over her mom's shoulder. Emilia gives her an encouraging smile, Claire gives her a sympathetic grimace and May tries to hold herself together so she doesn't vomit on the back of her mom's sweater.


	4. I Sing I Swim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May goes to the doctor and then tells Ben what she finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and for sticking with me! I've really enjoyed writing this story so far, it's all come so easily to me. Let me know what you're thinking! Or don't, but I hope you enjoy it anyway :) :) :)

_Shake the leaves off the trees_   
_Watch the float down the stream_   
_Your son, your daughter_   
_Swimming in the water_   
**I Sing I Swim by Seabear**

"You have a lovely home, Ginger," Ben says as he finishes the tour of the house with May's mother.

"Thank you so much, Ben. It's definitely been a work in progress since May was a baby." Ginger puts an arm around May and kisses her head.

Ben smiles at them. He's been here for less than an hour and he already looks like he belongs. May marvels at how well he's got her parents wrapped around his finger. She hopes it continues once they find out he's knocked her up. Speaking of...

"Excuse me," May says as she runs to the bathroom off of the kitchen. When she's done throwing up, she lays down on the floor and takes a moment to think of what in the world she's going to say to Ben. She trusts him not to run away or leave, despite what she might have said to Claire, but it's still a scary thing to tell your off-and-on boyfriend of a year.

There's a quiet knock and Ginger's voice calls through the door. "Can I come in, May?"

"Yeah, mom. It's unlocked." May sits back up as her mom enters and shuts the door.

"Are you sure you're alright, sweetheart? You seem off. I mean other than being ill." Ginger kneels next to her daughter. "You might be all grown up now, May, but I can still read you like a book. What's up?"

May has always been a mama's girl. When she's sick or upset, she craves her mother over everyone and that is no different now. May's chin begins to quiver and Ginger instinctively pulls her into her arms. May leans into her embrace and beings to cry quietly.

"What is it, May? Whatever it is can't be that bad."

May braces herself and says quietly, "I just found out that I'm pregnant." Ginger only continues to hold her daughter while she cries. She pets May's hair and kisses her head.

"Shhh, sweetheart. It's all right. I'm here, sweetie," Ginger says, rocking May gently. "Are you sure?"

"I took two tests before we came downstairs this morning," May sniffs. "They were both positive."

"Oh, sweetheart, listen. Everything is going to be fine," Ginger says soothingly, gently swiping her thumbs beneath May's eyes. "I can get you an appointment with Doctor Patel tomorrow. She owes me one, anyway."

"What am I going to do, mom? How am I going to tell Ben?" May cries.

"You're just going to tell him. You can't control how he reacts but that's not on you, baby. Your father and I are always here for you. You know you won't have to worry for anything. I can come out to London as much as you need me to."

May hugs her mom even tighter, overwhelmed with love for her. "I love you, mom."

"You're welcome. Also," Ginger says, pulling back and looking into May's eyes, "let's not tell your father just yet." She continues when she sees May's eyes widen, "I'm sure he'll be fine, but we'll wait until Ben knows before he has to deal with your father."

"Thank you, mom."

"Do you feel okay to come out of the bathroom?"

"Yes."

"All right. I'll let everyone know you're okay." Ginger smiles at her daughter and leaves the bathroom, May following shortly after.

***

Ben has been incredibly attentive to May all day, knowing that she doesn't feel well. Everyone is sitting in the living room talking. Ben and May have their own corner of the couch — May leans against him wrapped in a blanket with his arm around her. Since talking with her mom, May feels better, other than being completely exhausted. 

May's mom has made May an appointment with her OB/GYN tomorrow and May has decided to go confirm with the doctor before she tells Ben. She knows that it might be unfair to him, but she feels the need to process this herself before she terrifies him with it.

"You must be wrecked, Ben!" Steven says as he notices Ben start to nod off. "You're, what, six hours ahead of us? Why don't you two go up to bed. May and her mother have some secret excursion tomorrow, and I thought I could show you around town."

"That sounds great, Steven. I'd love that." Benedict sits up straight on the couch and yawns. When he stands up, he holds a hand out to May and helps her off the couch.

"Love you guys," May says through a yawn.

"Love you too, sweet heart. We'll see you both in the morning," May's dad says cheerfully. 

May hugs her mom and dad, then she and Ben head up to her room.

"I've never had a boy in my room before," May says sleepily as she shuts her door.

"I'm honored to be the first," Ben says, smiling. "Hopefully the last."

"Oooh, he's confident," May teases, pulling down the covers.

"I'm hopeful." Ben takes off his shirt and trousers and pulls on a pair of pajama pants from his suitcase.

Even in her drowsy state, May appreciates Ben's body as he changes clothes. "You really are beautiful, Ben."

"Cheers, darling."

They both climb into the bed and Ben holds out his arm, inviting May to curl up against him. She accepts the invitation gratefully and wraps an arm around his bare chest

"Ben, do you love me?"

"Of course I love you. I'm spending the warmest Christmas of all time with you and your family, aren't I? They're all lovely, by the way."

"They're great. Thank you for coming here," May says, starting to feel emotional.

"Hey, what's all this?" Ben asks, leaning back to look into May's eyes.

As she stares at Ben, May wants to tell him everything but she refrains. She'll let him have one more night of peace, just in case the doctor has different results than the store bought tests.

"I'm just emotional today, I guess. Christmas and all."

"I'm here, darling. You can talk to me about anything. Or not talk to me. Just as long as you still love me."

"Always," May says, kissing his chest and settling in for the night. Ben pulls her tighter to him and they both fall asleep easily.

***

"You're definitely pregnant, Miss Bell. Have you decided what you want to do?"

"I'm keeping it," May says miserably. May is pro-choice all the way and had Benedict been a one night stand, she may have considered other options but last night she dreamt of a little boy running around the beach near her parent's house with her face and Ben's curly hair. She's already in love with the idea of it. Miserably and anxiously in love with it. She reaches out for her mother's hand.

"Thank you so much for coming in on your day off," Ginger says as she wipes her eyes with her free hand.

"Of course, Ginger. My in-laws are completely jealous of my house now that you've finished with it. There aren't enough favors in the world to reciprocate that kind of satisfaction." Doctor Patel smiles when Ginger laughs.

"Now, do you have a doctor in London that you want to use?"

"No, I haven't set anything up," May says nervously, looking at her mom.

"I have some contacts over there I can call for you and get you set up with if you like?" Doctor Patel asks.

"I would like that, thank you."

"Well, that's it for today, then. May, I'll call you after the new year to give you the information for the doctors I find."

"Thank you so much, again."

"You're very welcome, May. Good luck."

When they get back out to the car, Ginger looks at May from the driver's seat. "Do you want to tell Ben now? I can have your dad meet us somewhere and you can have my car."

"That would be good. Thanks mom."

"You're welcome. Do you need any money for anything? You might want to go out to lunch or see a movie?"

"No, I've got it covered if we decide to do anything," May laughs. 

***

Thirty minutes later, Benedict and Steven are pulling up to the gas station where Ginger is parked. They're both laughing heartily and Steven claps Ben on the back as they walk toward Ginger's SUV.

"Here's the boy! I got him back safe."

"Thanks, Dad. I just wanted to show him around some places."

"I understand! You kids go do whatever. We've got to go visit Santa one last time anyway! Come on, beautiful," Steven says to Ginger, who smiles warmly at her husband as they get in his car.

"Are you sure you're going to be able to drive this thing? It's massive," Benedict says, looking at the huge white SUV. May had rolled her eyes at her mom when she bought it but it definitely came in handy with her business. It helps that it's a hybrid as well.

"I guess we'll find out," May says teasingly, climbing up into the driver's seat.

"So, where are we off to? What sights am I in for?" Ben asks, sounding excited.

"I thought I'd take you down to the beach. Where did dad take you?"

"He took me to where his boat is docked. I didn't realize how well off your family was, May."

"Well, it's not really something you bring up in conversation, is it? 'Hey, by the way, my family is loaded!'" May laughs and reaches for Ben's hand to hold. "I missed you." May looks over at Ben as she parks the car parallel to the water.

"Aww, I missed you too, May." Ben leans over and kisses her cheek. "I can't believe how beautiful it is here."

"Ben," May says nervously, watching Ben stare out the window behind her at the water.

Ben, noticing the wavering in her voice, looks at her in alarm. "Are you all right?"

"I have to tell you something," May starts, her eyes already leaking tears. "Fuck," she says, wiping them angrily away. She wants to stay calm for this.

"May, you know you can tell me anything. Whatever it is, I'm here for you and I love you." Ben puts his hands around her cheeks and kisses her forehead, concern etched all over his face. He pulls her into his arms, stroking her hair.

May takes a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

Ben stops stroking her hair. May thinks he may have stopped breathing. She pulls back from him to look at his face. He doesn't look angry, so she lets a little air escape her lungs. He still seems to be looking at the beach just beyond her.

"You're pregnant." Ben says. It isn't a question.

"Yes," May says calmly, though her tears are still falling.

"You're sure?" Ben asks, finally looking her in the eye.

"Yes. My mom took me to her doctor this morning."

"You're on birth control, though."

"Apparently it doesn't work when you're on antibiotics. When you came to New York, I was still on them from when I was sick. I'm really sorry, Ben. I should have known it would mess everything up. This is all my fault," May starts to ramble but Ben stops her.

"Darling, this isn't your fault, and there's no need for you to be sorry." Ben hugs her to him once more. "How are you feeling? What are you thinking?" He leans back again to gauge her reaction.

"I don't know. I'm nervous. I'm tired. My boobs hurt." May looks up at Ben. "I'm scared. Maybe a little excited."

"So does that mean you want to keep it?"

"Yes. I love you, Ben. And even if you don't want it..."

"Oh, I want it. I want you. I love you so much, darling," Ben says, his eyes beginning to water. He takes both of her hands in his. "Everything is going to be okay. Me and you, we'll have this sorted." Ben takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. "A baby," he says and his face breaks into the biggest smile May's ever seen.

"A baby," May repeats, subconsciously putting her hand on her stomach. She's still terrified but knowing that Ben is in this with her means they can figure it out together.


	5. The Tourist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May and Ben tell her dad about the pregnancy. May freaks out a bit, but Ben helps to calm her down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all amazing! Your feedback keeps me writing! Well that and a very sexy muse! This chapter is NSFW!

_Sometimes I get overcharged._  
 _That's when you see sparks._  
 _They ask me where the hell I'm going,_  
 _At a thousand feet per second?_  
 **The Tourist - Radiohead**

 

"Does your dad know?" Ben asks all of a sudden as they're driving back toward May's parent's house. 

"No. Just my mom. And Claire and Emilia." 

"So everyone aside from myself and Steven?" Ben asks, sounding a bit hurt. 

May looks at Ben apologetically. "Emilia bought the tests because Claire was suspicious that I might be pregnant. Then Claire forced me to take them." May fidgets nervously with the air conditioner as she says all of this. 

Ben sighs. "I can tell your father with you if you like?" 

"I don't know if I want to tell him. I don't want anyone to make a fuss. I mean, we've got nine months to worry about this, right? What's the rush?" May can see Ben's eyes widen from the corner of her own. "I suppose we should just go ahead and tell him though. No sense in waiting, right?" 

"Right." Ben turns in the passenger seat and looks at her. "May?" he asks calmly. 

"Ben?" May says dramatically, teasing Ben. 

"You do know there's a lot of planning that goes into having a baby?"

"Like what? Get some clothes, a couple cribs and you're golden," May says carelessly while pulling into her parent's driveway. 

"I think there's quite a bit more to it than that," Ben scoffs. 

"Well, diapers of course. And one of those weird diaper trash can things." May turns the ignition off and looks at Ben to see his eyebrows raised in confusion. "My cousin has one. It sucks the diaper in so that you don't have to smell it. I couldn't figure out how to work it but it can't be that hard, surely," May laughs. 

Ben continues looking at May incredulously, a million things whirring through his mind. "Why do we need two cribs?" 

"One for your place and one for mine." May looks at Ben like he's slow. 

"Ah." Ben seems disappointed but May is clueless as to why. "Did you want to tell your dad now? Or should we wait?" 

"Let's gauge his mood and go from there." May takes Ben's hand and they walk into the house together. She leads him to the kitchen and stops when she sees her parents making out next to the open fridge. May clears her throat loudly. 

"Sorry, honey!" Ginger says, pushing Steven away and giggling. "We're so used to not having you girls in the house!" 

"I can see that," May says with a smile. "Where are Claire and Emilia?" 

"Claire took her to see the theater. She wanted to show her where she got started," Steven says proudly. "What did you two do?" 

"We went to the beach. Daddy? We need to talk to you for a second." May uses her sweetest voice. 

Steven looks at Ginger in alarm. "Why is she calling me 'daddy?'" He looks back at May. "What's happened?" 

"Nothing, Dad. I — " May looks at Ben — "we need to tell you something." 

"Steven, why don't we sit down?" Ginger says, pushing him towards the breakfast table. 

Steven sits down next to Ginger. May and Ben sit across from them. "So. Dad." May looks at her mom who gives her a small thumbs up. Ben reaches for her hand and holds it tightly in his own. "I'm pregnant." 

"Pregnant?" Steven asks flatly. 

"Yes." 

"With a baby?" 

May snorts just as Ben says, "Yes, sir." 

"How?" Steven asks. 

"Steven, honestly," Ginger says, covering her eyes. 

"Dad..." 

"I mean, were you planning this?" Steven asks, sounding confused. 

"Obviously not. Not with my new job and the move. It just happened. We're keeping the baby. I'm still moving to London. I'm still opening the new branch. I'm just pregnant now." 

"I know it's a shock, sir. I just found out myself, but I love your daughter and I promise to take care of her and the baby," Ben says earnestly. 

"Of course you will, son. I have no doubt about that, you're a good guy. My May wouldn't bring someone home who wasn't." Suddenly, Steven's voice softens. "A baby. Are you sure?" 

"We went to see Doctor Patel this morning, Steven. She confirmed it. She's going to get in touch with May about some colleagues she has in London," Ginger adds, rubbing Steven's arm. 

"I'm going to be a grandpa!" Steven says suddenly, grinning widely.

"You're not mad?" May asks, completely shocked at her dad's outburst. 

"Mad? Honey, you're 31 years old! You're perfectly capable of raising a child. I'm shocked, of course, but I'm happy. A baby! Ginge, do we still have May's old crib?" 

"Steven, we got rid of that thing almost 30 years ago! They can buy their own crib." Ginger smiles, bemused at the excitement exuding from her husband. 

May looks at Ben, expecting him to be freaking out at how fast this all is moving only to see him smiling, looking more relieved than she's ever seen him. 

"We need a crib for here, though! My grandchild needs the best. Is that baby store at the mall open, do you think?" 

"Dad, dad, dad! Wait a second, it's still a clump of cells or something! There's honestly no need to go out and buy a crib. I appreciate your excitement but let's just calm down for a second." May starts to feel overwhelmed and completely exhausted. 

"Well, you can calm down. I'm going to go look on the internet at stuff. Come with me to my office, Ben. We'll talk some more," Steven says, getting up to leave the table and almost skipping out of the kitchen. 

"Do you mind, darling?" Ben asks May sweetly. 

"Not at all. I think I might take a nap anyway," May says tiredly. 

"I'll come check on you in a bit." Ben smooths May's hair down and kisses her forehead. 

May leans into him and tugs on the bottom of his shirt. "I love you." 

"I love you too." Ben kisses her again and walks around the table to Ginger who is already standing. "Thank you for taking May to the doctor this morning," he says.

"Of course, Ben. She's my baby. I'm glad she's got someone looking out for her when I can't be there." Ginger holds her arms open and Ben hugs her. Ginger kisses his cheek as he backs away, and he smiles at May as he leaves the room. 

Ginger sits back down in front of May. "How are you feeling, honey?" 

"Really tired. Really overwhelmed. No one is reacting like I thought they would. I thought I was going to have to calm everyone down, but everyone has taken the news so well. I've been bracing myself for an explosion." Ginger reaches out and holds May's hand. She waits patiently for May to continue. "Ben and Dad are all ready to start planning and doing and going. It's too much. All I can think about is getting unpacked and all the work I have to do in London to get the charity up and running." 

"Not everyone reacts to things the same way. Give yourself some time to come to terms with everything. No one will rush you, I'll make sure of it. Now, how's your nausea?" 

"It comes and goes. I honestly think most of it was just nerves." May puts her head down on her arms. 

"I'll pick up some ginger tea at the store later. Did you want anything else?" 

"No, I'm fine." 

"Why don't you go upstairs and get that nap? You look exhausted. You've had a big day," Ginger says soothingly. 

"I will. Thanks, mom." May stands up, hugs and kisses her mom, and heads upstairs. 

***

May lays down but she can't sleep. All she can do is think about how much her life is going to change when she has a baby. Will she and Ben get married? Does he want to marry her? Will people take her seriously when she's massively pregnant and trying to run a charity? 

May remembers vividly how expectant mothers were treated in Nashville. They were always overreacting and controlled by their hormones. She remembers dinners with Perry and the board where they would take cheap shots at the women who were taking maternity leave or just coming back from it and were trying to get situated. She would laugh with them, thinking how she would never be so foolish to end her career with a pregnancy. Obviously her views have changed a lot since she left, but the old fears are still there.

She isn't ready to give everything up for a baby. Does she have to? Would everyone expect her to? And what about birthing it? How is an eight pound child going to come out of her? Has anyone thought of how horrible that's going to be? Everyone is excited for the baby but no one is really thinking about how much her life is going to change except her. 

May is just starting to work herself into a panic attack when her bedroom door opens and Ben walks inside. He shuts the door and walks over to the bed, smiling when he sees that May is awake. 

"How are you feeling, darling?" He asks as he sits next to her on the bed. 

May takes a deep breath and lets it out. "A little freaked out, to be honest." She rolls onto her back and stares at her ceiling where an old Fellowship of the Ring poster still hangs. 

"I think that's normal, May," Ben says gently. 

"How come no one else is freaking out then?"

"You don't think I'm freaking out? May, my mind has been going a hundred miles an hour since you told me! I'm happy because the woman I love is pregnant with our child, but I'm absolutely freaking out!" Ben says, trying to get May to look at him. 

"What are you scared of?" May finally relents and looks at him. 

"I'm scared that I won't be good enough. My godchildren love me and I love them but what if I'm not good enough for my own child? What if I'm not good enough for you?" 

"Ben, that's insane," May says. "Of course you're good enough! You're my favorite person in the whole world and if I had to be in this situation with anyone, I'm glad it's you. I love you." May sits up so that she's face to face with Ben. She puts a hand on his cheek and smiles. 

Ben smiles in return. "What is it that you're scared of, May?" 

May's eyes water and she tells Ben everything she was thinking before he came in the room. As talkative as Ben can be, he stays silent while May goes over her fears and squeezes her hand or hugs her intermittently. When she's done, Ben leans forward and kisses her softly on the lips.

"You are going to be an amazing mother. You don't have to give up your career. I don't expect you to and anyone who does can come talk to me. As for people taking you seriously? May, you're the smartest business woman I know, and everyone is going to be so mesmerized by it that they're not even going to notice you're pregnant." May laughs and looks down. "As for the birth, I honestly don't have any comforting words about what it's going to be like, but I do know that I will be right next to you the entire time. You're not doing this alone, May. I promise you." 

May doesn't know if it's hormones or Ben's words that make her chest feel like it's swelling but she supposes it doesn't matter. She gently rises up on her knees and reaches down to pull off her shirt. Ben looks up at her slightly shocked but smiles when she grins at him. He climbs onto his knees in front of her and takes off his shirt as well. May is kissing him soon after and he reaches around to unclasp her bra. She unwinds her arms from around his neck so that he can pull her bra gently down them. Once her bra is on the floor, Ben presses his forehead to May's, keeping his lips just out of her reach. His hands smooth up her torso slowly, over the sides of her breasts, until eventually he brings his fingers through her hair, and cradles her head in his hands. He guides her lips to his and kisses her.

May's hands rest on Ben's hips, pulling them closer to her own, earning a groan from Ben. May's entire body warms at the contact and she can feel herself melt into him. They kiss for a bit longer before May puts a small gap between them.

"Ben, lock my door, please?" May asks, her breathing slightly labored. 

"Okay." Ben gets off the bed and unbuttons his trousers as he walks to the door and locks it. He pulls them off on his way back to the bed while May pulls off her leggings.

Ben climbs back into the bed and on top of May, continuing to kiss her softly. May revels in his tenderness, enjoying the way he's making her feel. Ben starts to kiss down her jaw, her neck, and settles his face over her chest. He kisses softly around one breast and moves to the other before coming back and taking her nipple in his mouth, sucking gently. May arches her back and moans quietly so as not to alert the house to what they're doing. Ben moves to the other breast and moves a hand down to push May's panties aside and feel her. Ben lets out a breath when he feels how wet she is but recovers quickly, continuing to show her breasts attention while moving his fingers gently inside of her. 

"Oh, Ben." May sighs and spreads her legs wider for him. Ben scoots down a bit, removing his fingers and smiling at the whining noises coming from May. He pulls her underwear off and throws them on the floor, his own joining them shortly after. 

"I love you so much, darling," Ben says as he lays himself on top of May. "You make me so incredibly happy." 

"You make me happy too," May says, pulling Ben's face to her's for a kiss. "I love you." 

Ben grins and kisses her on the nose before reaching down to guide himself inside of her. He moves inside of her slowly, taking the time to feel her giving way beneath him. "Look at me, May," Ben says once he's fully inside of her. 

May opens her eyes and gazes intently into his. Ben starts to move and May watches his face as he derives pleasure from her body. She wraps her legs around his hips to bring him further inside of her and when he hits that special spot, she covers her mouth just before she cries out. Ben starts grinding into her harder, and May's eyes shut tight. Ben moves a hand down to where they're joined together and swirls a finger around her clit. 

"Oh yes," May whispers as her legs squeeze harder around Ben and she moves her hips with his. 

"I love being inside of you, May," Ben says quietly in his deep voice. "You're exquisite — ahh, yes," he growls as May's muscles tighten around his cock. May's body begins to tense and Ben can tell she's getting close. "That's right, baby. I feel you getting closer. Open your — ahh — eyes. I want to watch you come for me." 

Just as May's orgasm takes over her, she opens her eyes and her mouth and begins to moan. Ben kisses her to swallow the sounds she makes. Even after her orgasm is over, he continues moving his fingers around her clit and begins to thrust harder. May begins to protest that she's too sensitive but Ben knows her body well.

Ben puts his lips next to her ears. "Shh, sweetheart. I know you can give me one more," he says gently, his voice rough and full of lust. 

Ben makes her feel so loved and so safe. Between that and the euphoria taking over her body, she begins to cry. When Ben starts to ask her if she's all right, she pulls him down and kisses him hard. She flips them over so that she's on top and begins to move. Ben's hands go to her hips and she lets him set the pace. She reaches down to play with herself, the sight of which makes Ben growl and pump into her even harder. May finds her second orgasm just as he begins to come inside of her. Completely spent, May leans down to kiss his cheek, his chin, his forehead, and his nose and with each kiss she tells him 'I love you.'

She lays down next to him feeling sated, safe, and completely exhausted. Ben leans over to whisper in her ear. "I love you too." He kisses her temple and she quickly falls asleep, feeling the best she has since she arrived here.


	6. Christmaaaaaas

_Pretty lights on the tree_  
 _I'm watching them shine_  
 _You should be here with me_  
 _Baby please come home_  
 **Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Darlene Love**

 

"Ben," May whispers to her boyfriend's sleeping form.

"Mmmmfffhh," is the response.

"Ben, wake up!" May says a little louder.

May's bedroom door opens and Claire pokes her head in. "Is he up?" she asks, coming inside the room with an exhausted looking Emilia trailing behind her.

"No, he's ignoring me -- Benedict. Wake uuuup." May pokes him in the butt.

"It's still dark outside," he mutters from under the pillow he just put over his head.

Claire rolls her eyes, walks closer to the bed and tears the pillow off of him. "It's Christmas for fuck's sake! Get your ass out of bed! Santa has come and I am not waiting to open my presents just so you can sleep!"

Ben looks at Claire cooly. "Your girlfriend is asleep right behind you. I'll get up when she does," he says as he rolls over and puts his head in May's lap.

Sure enough, Emilia had sat on the squishy chair in the corner of May's room and gone back to sleep.

"Em, damn it! You're ruining Christmas!" Claire stomps her foot down and crosses her arms. "May, let's go downstairs. These two are the worst!"

"Right behind you. Mom and dad are up; I can smell breakfast." May gets up and lets Ben's head fall back onto the bed.

"Oy! Where are you going?"

"Breakfast," May says pleasantly. "I hope you enjoy cold eggs because that's what you're gonna get if you don't get up." May kisses Ben on the head and follows Claire past the sleeping Emilia and down the stairs. They both squeal when they see all the presents scattered throughout the living room that Steven and Ginger will insist are from Santa.

"Girls, step away from the gifts! Breakfast first!" Steven calls from the kitchen.

Claire groans and May smiles as they walk into the kitchen and see Ginger and Steven dressed in their most ridiculous Christmas pajamas. She runs slightly and uses her fuzzy reindeer socks to slide on the floor to her mom's side

"Mom it smells so good in here. Move with me to London and make me breakfast everyday," May says as she hugs her mom tightly around the middle.

"You couldn't afford me, baby," Ginger says, kissing May's temple.

"I can!" Claire says. She is standing next to Steven who has one arm around her while the other tends the bacon.

"Will you two quit trying to take my wife away from me?" Steven begins flipping the bacon over. "Besides, I help and neither of you can afford both of us."

"Where are your significant others?" Ginger asks while she pulls the biscuits out of the oven.

"Sleeping," Claire and May both say at the same time.

"Quit lying to your mother," Ben says as he walks into the kitchen. He yawns and walks over to Ginger.

"Merry Christmas, Ben," Ginger says as Ben gives her a one armed hug.

"Merry Christmas to you," Ben says smiling and going to sit next to May at the table.

"That's an impressive pile of gifts I walked past," Ben says quietly to May.

"You must have been a good boy this year. You know, aside from getting your poor unwed girlfriend knocked up," May jokes, elbowing him gently in the ribs.

Benedict grins at May and kisses her on the cheek. May looks up from their quiet conversation to see that Emilia has finally made it downstairs and has her arms wrapped around Claire from behind while she talks to Steven about the new play she's in off Broadway.

May looks around the kitchen and her heart is warmed by the sight of the people she loves the most dressed in their pajamas amidst her mother's gorgeous Christmas decorations. She becomes overwhelmed with how much she loves everyone in this room and a few tears escape her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Ben whispers, rubbing soft circles on her back.

"Hormones," May says grinning. "I'm really happy right now."

Ben smiles back at her and hugs her tightly to him.

...

May's parents had gone completely overboard with the presents. Ben was both delighted and dismayed at how many presents they had handed him. When he first opened his mouth to protest, they argued that Santa left them and it was out of their hands.

Now they all sit around the living room chatting about the upcoming year.

"May, you haven't told us much about your place in London! What's it like?" Ginger asks.

"Oh, it's fine. Just a studio like in New York. It's tiny but cute," May says distractedly as she tries to figure out how to open a thick plastic package encasing her One Direction perfume.

"You're gonna need something bigger when the baby comes," Steven says, grabbing a pocket knife out of the drawer next to him and handing it to May.

"It's fine, dad. Babies are tiny." She carefully opens the knife and cuts into the hard plastic.

"Is it in a safe neighborhood, Ben?" Steven asks.

"Not the best neighborhood, no. I had no idea she was moving until she had already leased it so I wasn't able to help her find something." Ben takes the package and the knife away from May, who looks close to stabbing herself trying to get at the perfume.

"May, you can't live in a dangerous area with a baby!" Steven says in alarm.

"Dad, it's cheap and it's really close to work! I don't make the same kind of money now that I did with Claire. It'll be fine. I survived New York, I can survive London." Ben finally gets the perfume open and May makes grabby hands at it until he gives it to her. "Besides, I'll be at work so much that I'll barely see the place."

"Are you sure it's healthy to be working that much when you're pregnant?" Steven asks incredulously.

"We can help you get something nicer, May," Ginger says kindly. "It's not a problem."

"I've been paying my own rent since I graduated. I appreciate the offer, really I do. But I feel better doing it on my own. And I'm opening a brand new office, it's going to take a lot of work. It's not like the baby itself is doing it!" May opens up the perfume and smells it, her eyes rolling in the back of her head. "I can't name the members of One Direction but their perfumes smell like Heaven." She thrusts the bottle up under Ben's nose. "Smell it!"

Ben ignores it. "May, your parents are right. You should be somewhere safer. It would make me feel better."

"Well if it makes everyone else feel better! What about me feeling better?" She asks hotly. She takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down and not ruin Christmas. "Honestly, it's fine. I'll be okay. Smell this, Claire." May hands the perfume off to Claire who is sitting on the floor with Emilia's head in her lap.

"That does smell really good! Who knew?" Claire says, running her fingers through Emilia's hair.

"Me," May says. "I'm going to go upstairs and take a nap. Thank you so much for all the presents!" May gets up and kisses her mom and dad on their heads. She runs upstairs before anyone can protest. She goes in her room, shuts the door, and sits in her squashy chair in a huff.

May is quite proud of the place that she's found. Her commute would be next to nothing, as opposed to the hour long trek she had to endure in New York. It was fine for her to live in a dangerous part of town there, but now that she's pregnant everyone seems to be so concerned about her well-being, as if she can't take care of herself.

She grabs her laptop from beside the chair. She might as well get some work done while she's avoiding everyone.

A little while later, her bedroom door opens. Benedict comes in and sits on the ottoman she's resting her feet on. 

"Couldn't sleep?"

"No. I have a lot of resumes to go through," May says, not looking up from her screen.

"May, will you look at me please?"

May shifts her eyes away from her screen to Ben's face. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry if it feels like we ambushed you down there."

May looks back at her screen. "It's fine. You're just concerned for the baby."

"Not just the baby, May. I'm concerned for you."

"Well, I'm telling you that I'll be fine."

"May..."

May closes her laptop and gives Ben her full attention.

"Will you move in with me?"

"What?"

"Will you come live with me?"

"Ben. Are you only asking me because I'm pregnant?"

"No. I wanted to ask you when I found out you were moving to London. I thought it might be too soon for you, but now..."

"Now, what? You want to keep an eye on me? Make sure I don't do anything to hurt the baby?" May asks with one eyebrow raised.

"No, May. I want you to live with me because I love you and I want to spend as much time as possible with you. We're both going to be so busy the next few months and if we live together then we might actually get to see each other more than once a week."

May doesn't have a retort for this and Ben smiles, knowing he's got her thinking about it.

"I'm paying half of the rent," May says suddenly.

"Why? It's paid off."

"Well then I'm paying you rent."

"May..."

"I'm doing it."

"Fine."

"Fine," May says, opening her laptop back up.

"So. Does that mean you're going to move in with me?" Ben asks hopefully.

"Yes, I suppose it does," May says, trying to sound stoic and mature. She types in a few random letters to make it seem like she's doing something important.

Ben is having none of it though as he takes her laptop away from her, pulls her from the chair and hugs her tightly. "I love you, May."

"I guess I love you too," May says, laughing.

...

With the living arrangements sorted and the delivery of her stuff switched to Ben's place, May is even more excited about London. She almost forgets about the baby until she is reminded by the random bouts of nausea that hit her out of nowhere.

May comes out of the bathroom after one such bout to see her mom and dad sitting at the kitchen table. May is flying out to London today after a wonderful Christmas holiday. Ben flew back the day after New Years and Claire had to be in New York for rehearsals the day after Ben. May has enjoyed the quality time with them on her own.

"Are you going to be okay on a flight that long?" Steven asks worriedly.

"I guess we'll find out," May says, making herself a glass of water.

"We're gonna miss you, sweetie," Ginger says, smoothing the hair on the back of May's head. "You're gonna do so great in London. We're so proud."

"Thanks, mom. And dad. And thank you for Christmas. I'm really lucky to have such amazing parents." May starts to get emotional and Ginger reaches out to hug her daughter while Steven tries to lighten the mood.

"Of course we're amazing! We've got an amazing daughter! And I'm just amazing in general," he says, clapping May on the back.

May giggles at her dad and squeezes her mom one last time. Her mom has an appointment with a client so her dad is driving her to the airport.

"You ready to go, kid?" Steven asks, grabbing his keys off the key holder.

"Yeah. Love you, mom!"

"Love you too, baby."

The ride to the airport is filled with May's dad telling her all the things she needs to do in London. She laughs as he tells her stories of his pub crawls with his college friends.

"I didn't know accountants could party so hard," May says, teasing.

"Oh, we partied harder than the square business students," Steven says, winking at May as he turns into the airport.

"Ha ha, dad."

...

As it turns out, May was not able to make the long flight to London without running to the bathroom a few times. Fortunately, when she wasn't puking she was sleeping so the flight went by relatively fast.

When she makes it to baggage claim she is delighted to see Ben waiting for her with a baseball hat and a giant grin. May grins back while walking toward him.

"How was your flight?" Ben asks as she pulls her into a tight embrace.

"Long. And I need to brush my teeth, immediately," May says, offering Ben her cheek instead of her lips.

"I know what your bag looks like if you want to run to the loo," Ben offers.

"Thanks," May says with a smile and follows the signs leading to the bathroom.

She returns not long after to see Ben looking down at his phone, her bag next to him.

"I'm back," May says, putting her hands around his face, standing on her tip toes in front of him, and pulling him in for a big kiss.

"Mmm, minty," Ben says as she pulls away. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Yes." May's stomach flutters at bit thinking of sharing a home with Ben. "Home," she sighs and Ben smiles.

...

By the time May and Ben are home and settled it's close to 11pm, which is 5pm her time. Right now, they're on Ben's massive squashy couch. May is sitting up right, acquainting herself with all the channels while Ben is sprawled out on the couch, dozing, his head in May's lap. They're both in their pajamas.

May is hyper, swinging her feet and asking Ben rapid fire questions. "I'm starving. Do we have any popcorn? Are there any grocery stores open? How does that even work here? Can you go to the store without being recognized? Is there a secret famous people store you have to go to? Am I allowed to go with you?"

Ben's eyes remained closed, but he gives a lopsided grin. "May, you need to go to bed. You've got to get used to the time here, fight the jet lag."

"I couldn't possibly go to sleep right now. I'm so wired. And," she adds in a sing-song voice, "I can't take anything to go to sleep because it will kill the baby or something. You have to stay up and keep me entertained."

Ben opens his eyes and sits up. "Oh, do I?" He gets off the couch and kneels in front of her. His hands go up to her hips, pulling her pajama pants off with her panties and spreading her legs.

"What are you doing!?" May asks in surprise.

"Helping you relax," Ben says, a lascivious look on his face as he kisses and nibbles down her thighs. "Put your hands behind your head, May." She obeys.

Ben takes his time on May's thighs, making sure to give attention to all her favorite spots. When he reaches the apex of her legs, he moves up instead of over and kisses his way up inside her shirt. He pushes her top up over her breasts.

"I fucking love your tits, May. I really and truly do," he says earnestly, working his lips around them achingly slow. By the time he takes a nipple into his mouth, she is writhing beneath him. May reaches her hands down to touch herself but Ben stops and looks up at her.

"Hands. Behind. Your. Head."

May obeys again but glares at him as she does it. He smiles sweetly and goes back to working his mouth over her breasts until she is whimpering above him. He kisses back down her stomach, lightly biting little bits on the way down. When he gets low enough, he puts his face directly in front of her center.

"Oh, May." He puts a finger just inside her lips and drags it down to her opening where he pushes in just a bit, calling out more of her wetness and sliding it back up to her clit, barely touching it.

"Oh my God," May whispers out, her chest heaving, her hands gripping into her hair to keep them in place.

"Mmm, you like when I touch you there, don't you? You must do, or else you wouldn't be positively dripping right now." Ben uses his fingers to spread her lips open wide. "The only thing more amazing than your gorgeous breasts is your beautiful pussy. So pink, so soft, so warm." He leans forward and kisses everywhere inside her except the one spot she needs him. May begins to whine and buck forward. "Eager, are we? Eager for me to suck on that beautiful little clit, make you come on my face." He flicks his tongue gently over her clit, just enough to make her whimper.

"Benedict. Please."

"Mmmm," he says, licking another wide stripe up. "Please what, darling?"

" _Please_ fuck me with your tongue, your fingers, your cock, the remote control, I don't care."

Ben's eyes widen with lust and he goes back down, swirling his tongue lightly over her clit as he enters two fingers easily inside her. He's worked her up into such a frenzy that when he finally makes contact she can't keep still.

"Oh my God, YES, Ben! YES!" May bucks forward, her hands falling to her sides as she grips the blanket she's sitting on.

"You taste _so_ fucking good, May," Ben growls as he enters another finger and she groans at the delicious stretch she feels. He moves his lips back to her clit, sucking gently at first, then harder when one of May's hands go into his hair, encouraging him.

"Fuck Ben, right there. Right there. Don't stop," May cries out as Ben's hands push up and out on her thighs, spreading her impossibly wider. She feels her orgasm start slow in her belly until it spreads throughout her body, at once both pressing her down and making her feel weightless. She cries his name over and over, one hand still squeezing in his hair, the other still clenched around the blanket.

As she comes down, he smoothes his hands down the backs of her legs and kisses gently around her body. When her breathing steadies, she looks down at Ben and smiles.

He smiles back. "Are you ready to sleep now, darling?"

"I think I could be persuaded to come lay next to you in the dark."

"That's all I ask."

They go upstairs after May pulls her pants back on and lay down in the bed they now share. Ben rolls to his side and pulls May into him, her back facing his chest. 

"I love you so much, May. Thank you for agreeing to move in with me," Ben says before kissing her shoulder.

"I love you too. Thank you for wanting me to. And for giving good head." May giggles as Ben swats her on the ass.

It isn't long after that Ben is softly snoring behind her and May realizes she is wide awake.

...

The next morning, Ben wakes up to an empty bed. He heads downstairs to find May passed out at the kitchen table in front of her laptop and a pile of papers spread across the surface. He kneels down next to her, smiling at the way her face is squished against her arm. He kisses her awake and starts making breakfast for the woman he loves more than anything. Ben doesn't think he's ever been happier. And aside from the crick in her neck, May feels the same way.


	7. I hope the rain don't come too soon..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! This is somewhat nsfw but it's not bad :). The word "cock" appears. But then it appears in this warning too so I guess if you're reading this to check to see if the chapter has the word "cock" in it that I kind of just.... Anyways! ENJOY!

_Late night we talk in our sleep,_   
_joke about the things that we usually keep._   
_Never been crazy like this,_   
_check my eyes and tell me what it is._   
_I'm sick for you and there's nothing I can do._   
**Sparks - Jesse Woods**

May sits stiffly at her desk and watches the dust float in the sunlight that streams in through the window. Her office is quiet except for the pounding of her heart as she waits for Perry to speak. 

"You do realize, May, that you're not cut out for this."

"I know, Perry," May says miserably as she shifts her gaze to a file on top of her desk. "But I have to try, don't I? I have to make an effort."

"That's all you will do. That's all you ever do. You'll fail or you'll quit and this time the consequences won't work out in your favor. This is a human life, May."

May feels herself grow heavy as she continues to stare at the file in an effort to keep Perry's face out of view. "I've got Ben. He's going to help. He's going to be a great father."

"That might be true, but how long before he realizes who you really are? What you're really like? You'll see, he'll give up on you just like you gave up on me. You're not cut out for this, May. You're a failure." Perry walks closer to her so that she can just make out his shape from the corner of her eye.

May starts to cry. "You don't know that, Perry. You don't know me now."

"I know enough." Perry puts his hands in his pockets, turns, and walks out of the room. 

"You don't," May says while trying to lift her head and finding that it's too heavy. "You don't know anything."

"You will fail," Perry's voice becomes an echo as her body tries to fight the weight crushing her. 

"May?"

"I won't," May cries out, trying to convince Perry that she won't fail her child.

"May, wake up!"

"I won't! I wo-" May opens her eyes in a panic to see Ben sitting next to her in their bed looking concerned. She's embarrassed to find tears on her cheeks.

"Are you all right, sweetheart?" Ben asks as she sits up slowly, trying to gather her wits. 

"I'm fine, I just had a bad dream." Ben puts an arm around her and she leans into him gratefully. She hasn't seen Perry since her last birthday in Nashville, and to have him there telling her she would fail as a mother had her reeling, even if it was a dream. 

"Did you want to talk about it?" Ben asks kindly.

"Not really. It was stupid." May closes her eyes again to try and center herself. 

"Are you nervous about the appointment today?"

"No," May says quickly. May's doctor's appointment has been a point of contention between herself and Ben since her first full day here.

***

Doctor Patel had been very quick at getting her an appointment with her mentor in London. From what Ben's friends had said, she was one of the best. So, when May had to cancel the first appointment due to work, Ben was not pleased.

"May, this is important! You need to get established. What if she doesn't have another appointment for months?"

"Then we'll find another doctor, Ben! I know this important, but I have GOT to get these interviews done. I have meetings all week and I can't cancel any of them. I promise, I'll go to the doctor. Just let me get through this." May doesn't look at him when she says this, choosing instead to finish reading through a resume of a girl fresh out of university.

"Fine. But you're not canceling the next appointment. I don't care what you're doing."

"I won't, I promise."

Ben was able to pull a few strings and get May an appointment for the next week. Unfortunately, something came up and May wasn't sure if she was going to make it.

"CHRIST," Ben shouts, slamming his bag down on the table, making May jump. "Do you even care about this baby? We know nothing! We don't know the due date, or if it's even still there! You cannot keep putting this off!"

May's eyes go so wide she was surprised they didn't fall out of her head. "First of all, you need to calm the fuck down. I'm well aware that there is a baby growing inside of me, but that doesn't mean shit to anyone I'm working for! I have to get this done! They've entrusted me to do this job and I can't let them down!"

"Surely they can let you have an afternoon to go the bloody obstetrician!"

"I can't tell them I'm going to an obstetrician, Ben," May says, aggravated that Ben doesn't know this.

"Why?"

"They don't know I'm pregnant! I told you that I wasn't going to tell them."

"You most certainly did not! Why wouldn't you tell them?" Ben starts pacing the kitchen, hands on his hips

"Have you seen how they treat pregnant women, Ben?" May asks as she watches Ben warily. "They'd send someone out here to do MY job!"

"That's ridiculous, May. It's against the law!" Ben stops and turns to look at her when he hears her let out an aggravated sigh. 

"Of course it's against the law! You don't think they'll find some other way to push me out? They're already taking a risk on me. They could have had someone local do this easier, cheaper, and most likely better!" May has never said any of this out loud but now that she is letting it out, she can't stop. "You have no idea what it's like. You couldn't possibly."

"Maybe not," Ben says darkly. "But I do know that you need to go to the doctor. Fuck the bloody job. You don't need it!"

"What?" May asks quietly, glaring daggers at him.

"If it's causing you this much stress, you don't need it. You're making a baby, May."

If May wasn't somewhat aware that she was hormonal, she would have given in to the urge to throttle Ben. Instead, she grabs her bags and slams the front door as she storms out.

When she returns home later that day, Ben has dinner prepared, candles lit and a heart felt apology ready for not being sensitive to her work. May caves and moves an interview to another day so that she is able make the appointment.

***

"You said that rather fast," Ben says, kissing her neck.

"Well, I'm not nervous. I'm sure everything is going to be fine." May feels like she sounds robotic and she's surprised, but glad, when Ben doesn't inquire further. 

"I am too. I'm going to grab a shower," Ben says, getting up out of the bed. May watches as he pulls off his underwear and throws them in the hamper. As gross and as stressed as she's been feeling lately, she still can't help but be turned on by him. She hears the shower start and she gets out of bed and looks in the mirror. She doesn't look any different than before, other than the dark circles under her eyes but she sported those all through college and it doesn't surprise her to see them there now. 

May tries to shake the dream by thinking about the party Ben is having tonight at their house to announce their pregnancy, but it only makes her more nervous. All she can hear his Perry's voice telling her she's going to fail. She is logical enough to know that it was only a dream, but in her current state of hormonal hell, she is unable to emotionally grasp it. 

Instead of dealing with the emotions bubbling up inside of her, May decides to do the one thing she knows will make her feel better. She removes her clothes and adds them to Ben's as she passes by the hamper. She walks into the bathroom and bites her lip as she sees Ben leaning under the spray to wet his hair, his body pulled taught, the water running down his chest and abdomen. May quietly slides into the shower behind Ben and pinches his bottom. 

"Oi!" Ben says, turning around and smiling at her.

"Hey, it was there. I can't help myself. Hormones, you know," May sniffs before giggling as Ben pushes her up against the shower wall and kisses her senseless.

"Mmm, that's nice," May sighs as he kisses down to her collar bone. "But we don't want to be late."

"I promise it won't take long," Ben says before dragging the back of his tongue down to her nipple and sucking it into his mouth once he gets there.

"Ah, as lovely as that sounds, I'd rather not have a freshly sexed up vagina if they do a pelvic exam."

"I'm sure they're used to it," he says as he moves to her other nipple.

"Ben."

"Fine, fine," he says good-naturedly and stands up straight to finish rinsing his hair.

May looks down to see that he was rather enjoying himself and she takes pity on him. She gets down gingerly on her knees and begins kissing his length while the water and suds run down from Ben's hair.

"Mmm, what's this then?" Ben asks, bringing his hand to caress the back of her neck.

"This is me sucking my boyfriend's gorgeous cock." May looks up at him through her lashes as she licks a line all the way up his shaft. "But you totally owe me one." She hears Ben mumble 'Christ' and she smiles before she takes him into her mouth.

True to Ben's word, it doesn't take long and they arrive at the doctor's office just in time. The appointment goes very well. There is, in fact, a baby still in there and it's due around mid-August. Because May had waited so long for her booking appointment, she is able to have a scan done as she's estimated to be around ten weeks pregnant.

The scan is one of the most intense moments of May's life. Logically she knows there's a baby inside of her, but to see with her own eyes the outline of a human-esque creature on a monitor attached to a camera pointed directly at her belly is something she isn't prepared for.

While Ben is beside himself with awe and joy, May feels something quite different. Panic. The words Perry said in her dream go over and over in her head as her eyes fill with tears. The midwife and Ben both mistake the tears for motherly pride but she daren't tell them that it's because she wants nothing more than to run far away from this room and never look back. Instead she smiles at Benedict and squeezes his hand and hopes that she's as convincing an actor as he is.

***

On the way home, May stares out of the passenger side window of Ben's Jag. She doesn't think she'll ever be used to sitting on this side of the car when it's moving and not having a steering wheel in front of her. The first few times she rode with him, she kept instinctively pressing her feet on the floor every time they needed to brake.

"Are you all right, May?" Ben asks, looking at her out of the corner of his eye and putting his hand on her leg. 

"Oh, I'm fine." She smiles at him when he squeezes her thigh. "What time are your friends coming over?"

"Seven-ish. Thank you for letting me do this, by the way."

"Ben, it's your place! And I like your friends. I'm a little nervous about meeting Tom but I've met the rest of them and they're cool."

"It's OUR place, May, and why are you nervous to meet Tom?" 

"Um," May begins, but then starts to blush and looks out of the window again.

"May! You're blushing! Why are you nervous?" Ben laughs.

"Aren't you supposed to be watching the road? Precious cargo and all that!"

"Tell me," Ben says as he begins tickling her. 

"Fine! Fine," she says as she swats his hand away. "Maybe I have a tiny crush on him. MAYBE. Just a little. Tiny, tiny little crush." May says all of this quickly while staring intently at the cars traveling opposite them. She only turns back to Ben when she hears him chuckling. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing. A crush on Tom Hiddleston. Really?"

"No, pretend I didn't say anything."

"Of course," Ben says, trying to keep his face emotionless. "You have nothing to worry about with Tom, he's harmless. Nicest bloke ever."

"Mmmhmm," May says absently, wanting the subject to change immediately.

"Of course, I might need to warn him about YOU. I know what you're like when you see something you want," Ben says teasingly, smirking at May.

May slaps him playfully on the arm. "I swear to God, if you tell that man I have a crush on him I will do things to you while you sleep. Things you WON'T like, Ben," she adds when she sees him grinning.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me sweetheart."

When they arrive to their flat, Ben goes to the kitchen to start getting dinner ready and May goes to the office with her cell phone to call Bette.

"May Bell, it's been a while," Bette says cheerfully. "How's London?"

"London is amazing and stressful. How about you? How's the pregnancy going?" 

"Oh, it's better. I've just entered my second trimester and the sickness has finally gone away," Bette says, chuckling a bit. 

"That's great, I'm glad! I know you were miserable at the beginning," May says. "I need to tell you something." 

"What is it? Is everything all right?" Bette asks, sounding worried. 

May closes her eyes, steeling herself. "I'm pregnant." 

"Really? May, that's wonderful!"

"I suppose." May immediately feels guilty. "I mean, obviously I'm happy to be having a baby with Ben, I love him. But I'm terrified. What if I screw it up?"

"You won't screw it up, May. You're going to be a wonderful mother," Bette says confidently. 

"You're only saying that because I'm your friend. I know nothing about being a mother." May sits down in Ben's office chair and begins bouncing her leg to work off some of the nervous energy coursing through her. 

"I'm not just saying that, I know it for a fact. Even if you don't know anything now, who's to say that you can't learn it when it happens? Plus, you've got Ben there to help you. Have you spoken to him about any of this?"

"Not really. I mean, I've told him some. We got into a fight last week because I almost had to cancel my doctor's appointment a second time."

"Why would you need to cancel?"

"Work. I haven't told them I'm pregnant yet, and I don't know if I want to."

"Not even Chuck?"

May shifts guiltily. She sees Ben's latest magazine cover and pulls it in front of her. She flips through the pages trying to distract herself. "No, I don't want him to let it slip to his parents. You know how he is."

"Why not, May? Surely they won't say anything."

"Unfortunately that's not the way business works. At least not any I've ever been a part of. That's another reason he got upset. It's not like I'm not letting him tell any of his friends and family!" May says heatedly. 

"That's true, but I'm sure he's just worried about you," Bette says reasonably. 

May hears a pot crash downstairs in the kitchen and drops her voice lower in case Ben is listening. "That's the other thing, Bette. Everyone is worried about the baby, not me. And that's fine, but it's annoying because I'm attached to the baby. They can say all these things but they're not the ones it's happening to." May begins absentmindedly rooting around in Ben's desk drawers, finds a box full of paper clips and begins chaining them together. 

"Yeah, that's a weird part of being pregnant. But May, you do need to look after yourself. I'm not saying that you need to quit your job and stay home and knit all day, but you do need to be careful of the stress you put on yourself. I've seen you work before, I know how intense you can be."

"That's true." May lets out a huge sigh. "I am tired a LOT. Does that go away?"

"I can't say that it has yet, but I suppose it prepares us for being parents to a newborn."

May's body stiffens at the thought of being responsible for a newborn. Her instant fix for things that have scared her in the past is to either fix them or run away, and after this conversation she is realizing that she can't do either one of those. Her mind begins shifting from one thing to the next, trying to find something else to focus on to try and rid herself of the urge she has to run, knowing that she can't run away from this. 

"Are you still there?" Bette asks.

"Yes! Sorry."

"Are you sure you're all right, May?"

"I'm sure. Nothing I can't handle," May lies smoothly, almost convincing herself. "Thanks for the talk, Bette. Give Sebastian my love and grab his ass for me."

Bette laughs loudly. "I'll make sure to. Call me if you need anything, May."

"I will, promise."

May hangs up with Bette and goes into the bathroom to get ready for dinner with Ben's friends. She pulls out the dress she bought especially for the party and hangs it on the wardrobe door. May runs her hands down the tailored front of the dress, wondering if this was the only time she would get to wear it. May has never been fussy about her body, but then she always had control over it. She feels horrible for thinking about herself when she should be grateful that she has a healthy baby inside of her. This only adds to her worry. 

She shakes her head, trying to clear her mind and be present in the moment. She will not let her stress get the best of her. After all, the baby is ages away. She has bigger things to be thinking about and right now she needs to be getting ready for a party. 

May takes her time in the bathroom applying her make up, taking great care to make it look flawless. She searches YouTube for an up-do and makes a decent attempt at copying it. After that, she goes back into her bedroom, pulls on her garter belt, attaches her hose, and pulls her dress on just as Ben enters the bedroom to check on her. 

"Wow," Ben says as May turns around to smile at him. "You look gorgeous." 

"I tried," May says as she slides her feet inside her heels. "I'm glad you approve."

"I always approve of you," Ben says as he saunters up to May and gives her a kiss. "What underwear are you wearing tonight?" Ben asks with cheeky grin. 

May sighs. "I didn't really feel like putting any on. Too much hassle. It's been such a long day," May says, running her hand over the front of Ben's pants. 

Ben growls, making May laugh as she walks out of the room. "See you downstairs, Ben. You'd better hurry up and get changed, they'll be here any minute." 

"You're bloody evil, you know that, right?" Ben calls through the flat. 

"If you only knew," May mumbles to herself as she heads downstairs and toward the kitchen.


	8. No One Knows Where The Ladder Goes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! Enjoy!

_Will I know when it's finally done?_   
_This whole life is a hallucination._   
_You're not alone in anything._   
_You're not alone in trying to be._   
**Ladder Song - Bright Eyes**

The party is in full swing and though she was wary of being around a lot of people tonight, she has to admit she's having a wonderful time. Ben's friends are all lovely and have welcomed her into their circle with open arms. May is speaking to Ben's friend James and his wife when she hears the door bell. From across the room Ben makes eye contact with her to let her know he's going to answer it. May continues her conversation about American politics with James' wife when she sees Ben hugging Tom Hiddleston from across the room.

"What is it?" James asks, seeing May's eyes go wide.

"Nothing, nothing. What were you saying about the Vice President?" May asks, trying to get the conversation flowing again.

"May, can you come over here for a second?" Ben asks from across the room.

"Excuse me, sorry." May smiles in apology to the couple and walks to where Ben and Tom are standing, trying to focus on not falling over. She isn't sure why she's nervous, she's met plenty of famous people through her work with Claire. It could be that she's never met a celebrity she had an embarrassing crush on before. Speaking of Claire, she is extremely glad she's not here right now as she'd be yelling May's fantasies about Tom for the entire party to hear.

"May, darling, this is my friend Tom. Tom, this is May."

"It's lovely to meet you, Tom," May says in an uncharacteristically high voice followed by an even more uncharacteristically high giggle.

Ben raises his eyebrows at May while Tom wraps his arms around May (which makes her giggle even more) and says: "It's lovely to meet you too, May. Ben has told me so much about you."

"All good, I hope," May says, trying to regain her composure but failing miserably as her face feels more and more like the sun.

"Of course," Tom says, winking. "A sweet girl like you, I wouldn't believe a bad word he said."

"Oh, you!" May says, slapping his arm lightly and blushing even harder.

Ben smirks at May and pulls her gently to his side. "Now that everyone's here, let's eat!"

Everyone goes to the table to sit down as May and Ben go into the kitchen to bring out the food. Ben has been cooking since they arrived home from the doctor's office and his hard work has paid off. Everyone serves themselves and the room fills with chatter once more.

Much to May's pleasure and embarrassment, Tom sits next to her at the table and ends up talking her ear off.

"How did you like living in New York compared to LA?" Tom asks before taking a bite of his pasta.

"They've definitely got different energies," May says. "I know they say it's stressful living in New York, but honestly I found LA a lot more stressful. There's so much pressure to be and look a certain way there, where as in New York you kind of just blend in with the crowd."

"I totally know what you mean. London is much the same. How are you liking it here?"

"I love it. Well, what I've seen of it. I've been working a lot."

"That's a shame. Hopefully things will slow down soon and you can really experience the city." Tom is extremely friendly and has a contagious joy about him.

"I certainly hope so," May says as she grabs Ben's hand under the table. He looks away from his conversation with Adam and smiles warmly at her. She mouths 'I love you' to him and he mouths 'you too' back before squeezing her hand and turning back to his conversation.

Once dessert has been eaten, Ben gets everyone's attention. "May and I have an announcement." Ben looks around at everyone while giving a dramatic pause.

"Alright, out with it man!" James says to laughter all around the table.

"We're pregnant!" Ben exclaims to cheers all around the room. May lets out a sigh of relief that no one seems to be upset or disappointed. Everyone converges on them, the men patting Ben on the back and shaking his hand and the girls flanking May, already asking questions about her symptoms and her due date while sharing their mobile numbers in case she has any questions about anything.

While May appreciates their concern, she is also feeling completely overwhelmed. She smiles and nods as the women around her share their pregnancy stories while May feels like a fraud. They all sound so excited and proud talking about their children and their pregnancies and May wonders if that will ever be her. She can barely think about it now without panicking. She thinks back to her dream earlier today with Perry telling her she was going to fail. What will happen when she has the baby and she has no idea what to do with it? What if she doesn't love it? What if she doesn't have time for it? What if she's a horrible mother and her child turns out to be a serial killer?

"And that gorgeous dress you're wearing! You definitely won't be able to wear that for much longer!" At that, May snaps out of it and looks up at them wide eyed. 

"Are you alright, dear? I think we've frightened her!" All the women titter and laugh, giving each other knowing glances.

"I'm fine! Sorry! I've got to go to the bathroom, you know how it is!" May says, smiling and backing away from the crowd then walking quickly down the hall. She shuts the door and immediately sits on the edge of the bathtub.

"It's okay, May. You're okay. It's just a baby. You went to Harvard Business School. You can handle an infant." She continues to talk herself out of freaking out, taking deep breaths in between encouraging words.

"May, darling, are you alright?" Ben says through the door.

May stands up and looks at herself in the mirror then opens the door to find Ben looking worried.

"I'm fine. I just had to pee." May gives him a peck on the lips and walks back out to the party, trying to remain as charming as possible.

...

Hours later, May has sent Ben upstairs to take a bath while she cleans everything up. He tries to fight her at first, but she insists she be the one to clean since he was the one to cook.

May gathers all the wine glasses and the leftover hors d’oeuvres and brings them to the kitchen. She sets the glass trays on the marble counter tops and begins washing out the wine glasses, wishing she had been able to have a glass herself. Her doctor here said it was fine, but it was such a taboo to drink while pregnant back in the states that she couldn't bring herself to do it.

She puts the food into containers, stealing a few bites here and there. She wipes down all the surfaces and turns on the dishwasher. May finds that she still feels unsettled and since she's already tired of cleaning, she decides to employ a different technique.

Five minutes later Ben comes downstairs in his pajamas. He stops momentarily at the sight of May, but then continues on to stand in front of her.

"What are you doing?" Ben asks.

"Skanking," May says breathlessly, kicking her legs and swinging her arms.

"Okay." Ben is silent for a moment, then: "Why are you 'skanking?'"

May laughs at Ben's pronunciation of the word. "My college roommate used to do this to burn off nervous energy during finals." May loses her rhythm and starts pogoing instead.

"Why do you have nervous energy?"

"Why do you think?" May asks, her speech interrupted by her bouncing. "A baby is going to come tearing out of my vagina in seven months."

"What lovely imagery," Ben laughs as he sits on the couch. "What brought this on?"

"The girls." May stops and sits in front of Ben on the coffee table. "I was able to keep all of this an abstract idea until they started talking about their vaginas tearing open and pissing themselves all the time. I don't have time for that, Ben."

Ben's face is stuck between amusement and disgust. He leans forward on the couch and puts his hands on May's shoulders. Now that Ben is closer, she can smell his soap on him. His hair is still damp and is beginning to curl around the edges. He really is beautiful. She feels shallow that this makes her feel better.

"May, I know this is easy for me to say because nothing is going to happen to my own body, but I promise that you're not the first woman to go through this. It's a natural part of life."

May grimaces. "So you won't leave me when I become some hormonal beast that pees everywhere?"

"I promise. As long as you don't leave me for Tom," Ben says with a smirk.

"I doubt he'd want to run away with a pregnant piss monster anyway," May says thoughtfully, then laughing hysterically when Ben throws a pillow at her.

"Why are you obsessed with pee? Who's pissed themselves?" Ben asks incredulously.

"I don't remember exactly. I might be exaggerating..."

"Might be?" Ben interrupts.

"... All I know," May continues on as if she hasn't heard him, "is that one of them said it and then they all started laughing and agreeing and they looked at me and said 'just you wait!' I mean, my God. And are you really jealous of my tiny crush on Tom?" May feels a little better now knowing that Ben is slightly jealous and feels even more shallow than before.

"I did watch you flirt with him all night," Ben says as he leans back on the couch, grabbing a book from the arm of the couch. He begins to read, though May has a feeling he's faking.

"I sooo did not flirt with him!"

Ben looks up over his glasses at May. "You 'sooo' did," Ben says in a perfect imitation of her accent.

May laughs. "I was being polite to your friend," she says reasonably. "Your incredibly handsome and charming friend," she continues, lips trembling with surpressed laughter. She stands up, turns on her heel, and runs off toward their bedroom. 

Ben makes a sound of indignation and May squeals when tosses his book to the side and chases her up the stairs. She runs and jumps in the bed and he jumps right after her, landing on top of her and pinning her arms over her head.

"Tell me you're mine, May." Ben starts the sentence seriously, but his face cracks into a grin when he says her name.

"Oooh, barbaric! I like it!"

"Tell me," he says with a bit more finesse, grinding into her slightly.

"What do I get if I do?" May asks, biting her bottom lip when he grinds into her again.

Ben leans forward, pressing his chest to hers and putting his lips right next to her ear. "Anything you want, my gorgeous May," he purrs to her.

May's eyes close involuntarily as his words wash over her and she arches into him. "Ben..."

"Yes?" Ben asks, trailing soft kisses from behind her ear down her neck.

"Tell me you're mine."

Ben smiles against her neck and lifts his head to look into her eyes. "May, you've had me since I first laid eyes on you, since you first kissed me, since you first bared your body to me. You're the kindest, smartest, gentlest, and most beautiful person I've ever met and being yours is the greatest honor I've ever had." He punctuates his speech with a soft peck on her lips.

"Christ, I shouldn't have let you talk first," May jokes as a tear falls out of the corner of her eye.

Ben laughs and kisses her again.

"Ben, I'm yours. I'll always be yours, whether you want me or not. There is no man in the entire world who could make me feel as happy, loved, and wet as you do."

"Mmmm, I'll always want you darling. Especially when you're happy, loved, and wet." He winks at her and begins moving down her body, settling down between her legs. He pushes up her dress and pulls down her panties. Once they're off, he pushes her knees up and apart to gaze at her center. "You're gorgeous," he says as he spreads her open with his fingers. He leans forward to stick his tongue just inside of her and she jerks towards him trying to bring his tongue deeper. He holds her hips down on the bed to keep her still and kisses and licks everywhere but where she wants him.

After a few minutes of this May's body is buzzing with anticipation. "Ben, please. I can't handle it. I can't stand it."

Ben licks up her slit slowly. "What do you need, sweetheart?"

"Take off your clothes and lay on the bed," May says fervently, scooting away from Ben and getting on her knees. She plays with herself under her dress while she watches him hastily get undressed. She moans when she sees how hard his cock is.

Ben lays on the bed and looks up at May, waiting to see what she wants next. His patience is rewarded when she straddles his face and holds on to the headboard. He immediately starts lapping at her clit. "Mmmmm, yes, good boy," she says, smiling as he groans beneath her. She reaches a hand down, weaving her fingers into his hair and begins to gently ride his face. "Oh, yes, you are a very, very good boy."

Ben knows all the tricks to drive May crazy and it isn't long before May is close to falling over the edge. She reaches back to feel Ben's cock which is still hard and ready for her. She lifts herself off of his face and moves back to straddle his hips. 

Ben's breathing is labored and his face is slick with her. Rubbing herself on his dick, she leans forward and kisses all over his face, tasting herself on his lips and tongue. Once she's satisfied, she sits back up and lifts her dress higher over her hips, then grasps his dick and guides him inside of her.

"Oh, fuck," Ben says, grabbing her hips roughly.

"Play with my clit, Ben," May commands and Ben quickly obeys, rubbing circles around it while she begins riding him hard. She feels powerful on top of him, fully dressed except for her panties. She loves having him naked and desperate beneath her. May feels in control. "Faster, Ben. Harder. Ohh yes."

May leans back, placing her hands on his thighs to steady herself. She spreads her legs wider, knowing Ben is enjoying the view. When he starts pounding harder and faster into her from below and grunting from the exertion she feels her orgasm start to build. She tries to hold it off, enjoying herself far too much but that just makes her come even harder. She screams as Ben grabs her breast over her dress and through her pulsing walls she can feel him release hot and fast inside of her.

May falls sideways off of Ben and flops beside him on the bed dramatically. She looks at Ben. "Thanks for that," she laughs.

"Thank you. I'm gonna need to get you nervous more often," Ben says, rolling over and wrapping his arm around her.

"Mmmm, shut your mouth," May says, and then kisses him. "Ben?"

"Yes?"

May looks at him seriously. "I love you. A lot."

Ben grins broadly. "I love you too. A lot."

May kisses him on the cheek before standing up and taking off her dress, leaving it in a pile on the floor. Even if she never gets to wear it again at least she got excellent use out of it.


	9. The Lion's Roar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about ta go dooooowwwn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken forever and I am SO sorry! Work is complete insanity this time of year. Thank you so so much for all the comments and kudos and thank you to my friends' Lexi and Sarah for helping me out with this chapter :).

_Now the pale morning sings of forgotten things_  
 _She sings a song for those who wish to overlook_  
 _The fact that they've been blindly deceived_  
 _By those who preach and pray and teach_  
 _She falls short and the night explodes in laughter._

_But don't you come here and say I didn't warn you_   
_About the way your world can alter_   
_And oh how you try to command it all still_   
_But every single time it all shifts one way or the other_

_And I'm a goddamn coward, but then again so are you._   
_And the lion's roar, the lion's roar_   
_has me evading and hollering for you_   
_And I never really knew what to do._

**The Lion's Roar - First Aid Kit**

 

May doesn't think she's ever been as exhausted or stressed in her entire life. Not even during her senior finals was she so on edge. Work is not going as she planned, and the people she works with are not quite as charming and easy to be around as the people in New York.

***

Last week, May called Verity into her office to express her concerns. May had a cup of tea waiting for Verity as she came and sat down in front of May's desk. 

"Verity," May begins, then pauses. Once she says these things out loud she won't be able to take them back. Verity looks into May's eyes, concern writ over her round face. May decides she can trust her and continues. "I've been noticing some odd behavior around here and I was wondering if you may have noticed it as well." 

Verity shifts uncomfortably in her seat, taking a sip from her steaming mug to give herself time to answer. May hopes that she's gotten her tea right. 

Verity places her mug in her lap and takes a deep breath. "I have noticed a few things," she says timidly. 

In her head May is shouting 'a-HA!' but she doesn't want to scare Verity off by voicing it. She uses her most soothing and kind voice. "Do you feel comfortable elaborating on that, Verity?" 

Verity looks uncomfortable but continues anyway. "I overheard Mr. Doherty speaking to some people about your performance lately. He even mentioned your weight gain," she looks at May apologetically as soon as she says it but May signals for her to go on. "I still can't believe they don't realize you're pregnant." Verity shakes her head before taking another sip of her tea. 

Patrick Doherty came highly recommended from London College of Business and Finance and May hired him in as the head accountant, May's official title at the New York branch. He's gotten along well with the staff and rivals May's talent with numbers. He's amazing at his job and he's very ambitious. The only problem is that he speaks to May as if he were her boss and not the other way around. It seems to May that every sentence directed towards her from Patrick begins with "I know you're a woman, but..." May has always tried to ignore misogyny in the workplace, choosing instead to rise above it by showing them how good she is. Now it's getting increasingly difficult for May to ignore it because she has been performing at her best. 

May's been having difficulty pulling the donations she did in New York. She doesn't have the connections that she needs and she's reluctant to ask Ben for help as she doesn't want him to think she's using his fame for the charity's gain. This leaves May back to square one with contacts and she's having to rely heavily on her employees' suggestions which makes her look even less respectable to them.

It doesn't help that May is approaching twenty weeks pregnant and she's beginning to have trouble hiding her bump. She shares Verity's disbelief that the office hasn't yet sussed that she's pregnant. She assumes it's because she's mainly hired men; not because of their sex, but because they were the best candidates for the job. 

***

Sitting in her office after making a string of unsuccessful phone calls, May stares at her cellphone and wills it to ring. She and Ben had gotten into a small argument this morning about a premiere she had promised Ben she would attend tonight. May had said she was too busy to go, but Ben insisted that she come as she needed to be away from work. Ben has fretted over how stressed she is when she comes home at night, adamant that it can't be good for the baby. 'Nevermind how good it is for me,' May thinks to herself every time he voices his concerns. 

May decides she will bite the bullet and call Ben first when Patrick pokes his head into her office. "May, if you're done -" he pauses a beat, " _resting_ , Mr. Smith is here to see you."

May immediately forgets Ben, standing and dropping her phone. "What? I didn't know Donald was in town!" May stands walks hurriedly out of her office to see her boss, Chuck's dad, speaking to Verity. "Donald! This is a surprise!"

"I told Patrick I was coming," he says, holding his hand out to shake May's.

"Must have slipped her mind, sir," Patrick says. May shoots him a glare.

"It's good to see you anyway, my dear." Donald's eyes twinkle as he smiles at May.

May plays with the hem of her shirt, nervous that Donald might notice her growing belly. "Please, come into my office. You haven't seen it since we moved in."

Donald puts a fatherly hand on May's back, letting her preceed him into her office. "I love what you've done with it. It's just like your office back home."

May gives him a warm smile. "Have a seat, Donald. What brings you out to London?" May asks as she sits herself.

"I've actually come to have a talk with you about the company, May. Things aren't moving as quickly as we would have liked," Donald starts cautiously, as though afraid he might upset her.

"It's been a slow start, I know that. I'm working really hard to find investors and..."

Donald holds a hand up to stop her explanation, his face still kind. "I know, May," he says gently. "I know it's difficult because you're not used to the way things are done here in England. To be honest, I'm not quite understanding it myself. Patrick's been in contact with me and he really does have a lot of great suggestions."

May just stops herself from rolling her eyes but she can't help but mumble, "Of course he does." 

Donald tilts his head slightly, looking a bit disappointed in her attitude. "Now, sweetheart, he's a big asset to the charity. You did a great job finding him."

"Yes sir," May says, managing to form a small smile.

Donald continues, "The two of us have discussed it and going forward Patrick is going to be your co-manager. He's going to be helping you out." 

May bites the insides of her cheeks to keep the sarcastic retort from leaving her mouth. Instead, she nods.

Donald looks at her seriously. "Now that that's settled, we've been hearing you're tired recently, a bit sluggish and unorganized. That's very unlike you, sweetheart. Is everything okay?" 

Although she knows that Donald is genuinely concerned for her, May feels like banging her head on her desk. She's given so much to this company. She's always given this job her best despite how it might look. Her mother was in town visiting a few weeks ago and she spent almost the entire time at work while Ginger, Ben, and Ben's mother went shopping for baby things. She gave up that week with her mother to avoid this happening and now it's happening anyway. 

May knows that she should keep quiet to remain professional but she has an overwhelming need to defend herself. "Everything is fine, honestly. I haven't been tired. I've been here all hours of the day trying to keep everything together. We've helped a lot of people already, but the money is a lot tighter over here-"

"Now, May, don't get upset," Donald interrupts. "That's why Patrick will be helping you from now on. You're spread too thin. There's nothing wrong with accepting a little help."

Realizing that Donald means well, she stops trying to come up with excuses. The only way she can show him that she's up for the challenge is by succeeding. She stands up from her chair and Donald does the same. "Thank you Donald," May says, reaching out to shake his hand. "I appreciate your concern. I'm sure between myself and Patrick we can get things running more smoothly."

"I'm glad you're keeping a level head about this, May. I knew I could count on you. Now, will you let me take you out to dinner tonight?"

May wraps her arms around Donald as he pulls her into one of his famous bear hugs, making sure not to press her stomach against his. "I would love to, but I've got an event to go to with my boyfriend. I'll definitely take a raincheck, though." 

As soon as Donald leaves her office, she shuts the door and goes to sit back down. May is close to tears as she thinks about how this is all falling apart. Is this what her life has come to? She had been so promising in her younger days and now she can't even run a small charity in another country? For a second May allows herself to feel bitter towards the being growing inside of her and immediately feels guilty for it. It's not this baby's fault, she decides. She's going to make this work if it kills her. She roughly rubs at the tears that have begun pooling in her eyes and takes a deep breath. She picks up the phone and calls Chuck. 

"May!" Chuck cheers jovially after three rings. 

"Hey." May hates how flat her voice sounds compared to his cheerful greeting. 

"Ooh, that's not a good 'hey.' What's up?" 

May takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "Your dad's just been in to see me. It seems I'm not performing my duties to the greatest of my ability so this douche bag I hired is now going to be my co-manager." 

"What?! That's ridiculous!" May hears his laptop shut and the tell tale creak of Chuck leaning back in his decrepid office chair. 

May feels slightly better at Chuck's indignation on her behalf, even if it's not warranted. "It's not that ridiculous, unfortuately. I totally suck here, Chuck. I can't get anyone to donate. I'm going to fly out to New York and see if I can't get some leads from some of my contacts over there. Do you mind if I stay with you?" 

"Of course, you know you're welcome whenever. When are you coming?" May notes that Chuck doesn't comment on anything else she's said. 

"I have a thing to go to with Benedict tonight, but I'm going to try and catch a redeye." May shoots an e-mail to her assitant to let her know what's happening and to book her the earliest flight out. 

"That's fine, May. Do you need me to pick you up at the airport?" 

"Hold on a second, Chuck." May hits send on the e-mail, grabs her bag, and leaves her office. She gives a meaningful look to Verity who nods at her in response. She walks to the elevators and presses the down button. "Okay, I'm back. Only if you're free. I don't want to mess with your schedule." May enters the elevator and presses the button for the lobby.

"You're more important than a boring schedule. And May?"

"Yeah?" May says distractedly, watching the doors to the elevator close.

"I'm gonna do whatever I can to help you. I'm not sure what's going on, but whatever it is, I've got your back," Chuck says earnestly. 

May smiles genuinely for the first time today. "Thanks, man. I appreciate it. I'll call you later, okay?" 

***

May makes it home and in her rush she almost bumps into Ben, who has his keys and wallet in hand, ready to walk out the door. He's shocked to see her there and his raised eyebrows wrinkle his forhead. May usually finds this look endearing but not today. She's in a hurry. 

Ben speaks first. "I thought you weren't coming."

"I promised I would, Ben," she says, pulling off her clothes and shoes as she comes into the door. "Give me one minute to get my dress and heels on and we can go. I'll be quick." She gives Ben a peck on the cheek before she hurries up the stairs.

Four minutes later, she's back down the stairs with her hair up and her face a little less shiny. Her heels tightly clasped in her hands, May dashes past Ben almost causing him to spin on the spot. 

"It's not my premiere, it's fine if we're late," Ben says as he shuts and locks the door, following May to the road. He opens the door for her and she climbs into the back seat ungracefully.

"Yes, but I don't like being the reason we're late. I'm sorry about that." May opens her clutch and removes her compact and lipstick, carefully painting her lips. "I look like a hot air balloon in this dress. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to hide this," May huffs as she points to her stomach. 

May's dress, a short sleeved black swing dress that hits mid-thigh, accentuates all that Ben finds so deeply attractive about her. He wants so badly to tell her this but he's hesitant. She's pregnant and her body is changing in ways that he could never fully understand. Lately her moods have been all over the place. Warily, Ben kindly says, "I don't know why you would want to. You look gorgeous, May." 

May sighs and looks in her mirror to make sure there's no lipstick on her teeth. Satisfied, she quickly places the items back inside her clutch. She leans back and stares out the window at the city passing by. She can finally relax. 

"Is everything alright?" Ben asks, putting a hand on her thigh and inching to his left in a need to comfort his obviously stressed girlfriend. 

May knows that Ben will be angry, but she has to make this trip. She doesn't have the same contacts in London that she does in New York and time is of the essence. May continues to gaze out the window as she answers him quickly and in a nonchalant tone. "It's just work. I have to fly out to New York tomorrow. Donald visited today and he's not pleased with my performance and -"

Ben interrupts her before she can fully explain what's happened. Frustrated, he snaps "Seriously, May? Tomorrow we find out the sex of our child!" 

"I'll be gone for three or four days, max. I meant to call you earlier but it's been crazy all day. I've resheduled the appointment. The sex won't change." 

"Are you really telling me that this is more imporant than our baby?"

May folds her arms tightly across her chest and finally looks at Ben. She answers with an indignant, "Yes."

They arrive to the premiere without exchanging anymore words. As soon as Ben gets out of the car, he walks to May's side and opens the door for her. May can hear the crowds screaming his name and asking for autographs and selfies. She's extremely proud of him and the success he truly deserves, but right now she's pissed. Only minutes earlier they were arguing about her work. She always supports him, always stands at his side as the dutiful girlfriend and the least he could do is support her in return. May can't help when she has to drop everything for work anymore than he can help it when he has to leave the country for shoots and interviews. 

May forces a smile and takes Ben's hand. They face the excitable crowd. Ben only has to do a couple of interviews tonight as it's not his own premiere and May hangs back with his publicist as he gives them. He smiles a couple of times while looking back and gesturing at May and she smiles back, thankful for her time with Claire so that she knows how to act on a red carpet.

Ben's publicist asks May if everything is alright as she ushers them inside. Before May can answer, Ben hears his name called and across the room he spots a few familiar faces, Eddie Redmayne being the only one May recognizes, and Ben takes her hand in his as they walk over to the boisterous group. May smiles and greets everyone before she excuses herself to go to the restroom. Ben is deep in conversation with a tall, leggy blonde that she's never seen before, and he squeezes May's hand before she walks off. 

May's phone starts ringing before she gets to the bathroom and Patrick's name pops up on her screen. She rolls her eyes as she answers.

"This is May."

"May, it's Patrick," he says briskly.

"What do you need, Pat?" She says with a smirk, knowing he hates being called that.

Patrick clicks his tongue. "You left before we got a chance to discuss the new arrangements. I wanted to go over a few things."

"I have an event tonight and I was running late. I'm sorry if I ruined your plans," May says, smiling at a couple of ladies who walk past her into the bathroom.

"You didn't ruin my plans. We can talk tomorrow, I just wanted to touch base -"

"I'm flying to New York tomorrow to meet with some prospective investors, Pat. We can talk when I get back, or we can talk on the phone later. I've really got to go."

"Well, no hard feelings, love, right? Remember, this is to help you. We're all worried about you," Patrick says in the most patronizing tone May has ever heard.

"Yes, thank you SO much for your concern. I'll be in contact." May sounds calm but inside Patrick's patronizing words cause an anger to rage in her stomach. She wants to pummel her head into the wall just so she no longer has to hear the sound of his smug voice. Instead she walks into the bathroom, picks a stall, and sits. She breathes slowly, deeply, to calm herself down. 

She has tried so hard to not let this baby slow her down, to not let it change her. She wishes that Donald had come and yelled at her, told her she had to do better or she'd lose her job. She knows that's what would have happened if she had been a man. On top of that, it seems to her that all Ben cares about lately is the baby. Of course he's been sweet and attentive when it comes to her pregnancy, but when it comes to her work he is completely unreasonable. He can't understand why she would want to put herself through all of this stress when she's got bigger things to worry about.

She's tried explaining to him how important this charity is to her, how much she wants to do a good job not just for the people the charity will help but for herself. She has never done so horribly at anything as she's done here in London and it's making her feel completely useless. 

May unsuccessfully attempts to cool her rising temper. She fixes the dress and exits the stall. After washing her hands, May heads out to Ben to see him still in conversation with the beautiful blonde. Time drags; it feels like forever before he notices May standing there. When he finally acknowledges her presence, May gives him a nonplussed look. 

Ben offers an introduction. "May! May, this is Angela. Angela, this is May." Ben seems overly excited about introducing her but she isn't sure why. 

"It's nice to meet you, Angela," May says, looking up at the beautiful girl towering over her. Her perfectly wavy hair reminds May of a mermaid. She has the kind of body that clothes were made for - long, thin, and dainty. Her skin is lightly kissed by the sun, and she has the kind of smile that lights up an entire room. 

"Lovely to meet you as well, May. Ben's told me so much about you," she says taking May's hand and giving it a soft squeeze. 

"Angela is the female lead in the play that Tom is doing next year," Ben says, practically glowing with pride. "She's amazing with Shakespeare."

"How lovely," May says and tries to look interested. Ben knows she hates Shakespeare.

"Well, I'm going to go find my seat. It's been lovely meeting you, May. I'll talk to you later, Ben?" Angela asks as if their conversation wasn't finished.

"Of course," says Ben and May's eyes widen in shock as he pulls Angela into what May thinks is an overly familiar hug. He's never even mentioned her before but they're hugging as if they are the best of friends. Possibly more, May thinks, as Ben's hand is a little too close to Angela's rear for her liking. 

Angela walks into the theater to take her seat leaving Ben and May alone in the lobby.

"Who the fuck was that?" May asks abruptly.

"Who do you mean? Angela?" Ben asks, sounding shocked at her tone.

"Yes, Angela. Who is she? How do you know her?" May tries to sound inquisitive and not like her head is about to explode, but by the look on Ben's face she isn't successful.

"May, let's not talk about this here." Ben attempts to calm what is starting to become a heightened situation. He smooths his hand down May's arm, which only makes her angrier. May wants answers, not arm strokes. 

May folds her arms defensively and looks at him. "Ben. Tell me." 

"She's the girl I dated when we were apart."

May remembers quite vividly the day Ben called to tell her he was seeing someone. The hurt from that day turns to rage as she stares at him. How dare he accuse her of being unreasonable about the baby when he's just carried on with his ex-girlfriend right in front of her. "That's lovely, Ben," May snaps. "Really lovely."

"She didn't do anything, May! Why are you cross?"

"No, SHE didn't do anything at all!" May prods Ben hard in the chest. "YOU were completely gushing over her!"

Ben sighs dismissively. "You're being ridiculous, May."

"I'm being ridiculous? I stood next to you for an age before you even noticed me there!"

Ben squares his feet in front of May and leans closer to her, trying to keep his voice calm. "This is neither the time nor the place-"

"Of course not!" May says sarchastically. "I wouldn't want to upset Benedict and his gorgeous ex-girlfriend!" May can feel the rage she tried to stymie in the bathroom swirling within her. She wants to dig her fingernails into her palms, throw her head back and growl at the ceiling. She wants to let the tears pooling in her eyes fall down her face. She somehow manages to keep it all inside, though, lowering her rant to a stage whisper. 

"May, please. Lets go outside and cool down for a second," Ben attempts to reason before May cuts him off again. 

"I AM cool! I'm SO cool," she snarls, pointing a finger at him. "You go watch your movie, I need to go home and pack anyway." May turns on the spot and walks purposely toward the double doors of the theater before Ben gently takes hold of May's arm, stopping her from leaving.

"There are cameras out there, May. What are you thinking?"

May suddenly remembers something Angela said. "What were you two talking about?"

"What?" Ben asks, taken off guard.

"What were you talking about? She said she would talk to you later and gave you a serious look."

"We were talking about you, May. Her sister was pregnant when she and I were dating and she was stressed out at work and-"

"You talked to your ex-girlfriend about MY pregnancy? The one that I wanted kept secret? You talked about my personal business to a girl you used to sleep with?" May can feel her face growing hot and as her anger rises she can feel beads of sweat forming on the back of her neck. Somewhere inside of her brain she can step back from the situation and see where if they were to calmly talk out their problems, this entire fight could end right here. However, the tired and illogical side of her brain wins out. It doesn't give a shit. 

"She's a _friend_ , May!" Ben begins defensively.

"That's fine! That's fine!" May exclaims, flailing her arms and walking down the hall to find another exit. "You can have all the friends you want! But you do not get to talk to them about my pregnancy and compare my pregnancy to their sisters'! If you have a question about MY pregnancy then you can talk to _me_ or my _doctor_. You do NOT get to go blabbing MY business around at your celebrity party bullshit!"

"May, stop. Please. Let me call a cab, we can go home," Ben starts but is immediately interrupted by May.

"You stay and watch the movie, support your friends, be there for them. Pat them on the back and congratulate them on a job well done. I'm going to go pack my fucking bags and fly to New York so I don't lose _my job_ because apparently I can't do anything worth a damn anymore." The last few words are jumbled together as May starts to cry. Ben stares at her in shock as she stalks off down the hall. He doesn't follow her.


	10. Nothing Scares Me Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW! Thank you all for your kudos and comments :)

_Honey I'm_   
_On fire_   
_I feel it everywhere._   
_Nothing scares me anymore._   
**Lana Del Rey - Summertime Sadness**

The flat is almost completely dark when May returns home. The only light comes from the clock on the microwave, casting a small blue light. May spent the entire cab ride home biting the insides of her cheeks and focusing on her breathing in an effort to keep her emotions from spilling over in front of the driver. Her phone continuously buzzed from beside her on the seat. The driver asked once if she should answer, but she mumbled something about solicitors. He gave a wise nod and remained silent for the rest of the ride.

Now that she's home, she can relax her jaw and let the enormity of her actions take her over. Leaving the lights off, May tiptoes up the stairs, taking care not to trip in the dark. She makes it to their bedroom without incident and once again her phone begins to buzz in her hand. She squints at the bright screen displaying Ben's smiling face. She allows it to ring until voicemail takes it. She sets it on her bedside table, pulls her suitcase out from under the bed and starts packing.

Focusing on what she needs to bring calms May's upset. Her crying eventually stops and her breathing returns to normal, though her under eyes still sting from the heat and salt of her tears. Just as she zips up her garment bag she hears the door downstairs open and close. The sound of Ben dropping his keys on the foyer table echoes up the stairs and into the bedroom. May takes a deep breath, bracing herself for whatever state Ben might be in.

"May?"

May pauses for a moment before answering. "Upstairs, Ben."

The sound of Ben's footsteps are hurried and loud, the soles of his shoes slapping hard on the wood of the stairs. He makes it to the open door of the bedroom to find May facing him, looking as sullen as he feels himself. He pauses for a moment, unsure of what to say. "Why're you standing in the dark?"

At first May bristles at Ben's tone but she stops herself from responding with an angry retort when she sees the pained look on his face. She's only seen him cry at movies, but it looks as though he's broken that rule tonight. Instead she shrugs and lays her garment bag on the bench in front of the bed. The unusually clear night sky allows the moon's light to shine brightly through the window, making it possible for May to fully take in Ben's appearance. She can see that he's loosened his tie and removed his jacket. His hair is double the size it was before they left this evening and she has a quick vision of him running his hands through it multiple times in the backseat of a cab.

Ben takes a few tentative steps inside the room, not wanting May to run again. The silence makes him nervous; one of them should say something. "Not a lot of traffic on the road." 

"No, not a lot." 

"May," Ben sighs her name, wanting nothing more than to hold her. 

Cautiously, he approaches. Ben attempts to wrap his arms around her, but is stopped by May's need to touch him first. It surprises him as he's braced himself to be pushed away. Ben has always been sensitive to May's feelings and he can sense now that May is volleying between holding on to her anger and allowing him to comfort her. When her fingers deftly touch his chest, Ben takes it as a sign that she wants him to make all of this go away. His arms evelope her, holding her close.

Slowly, as if her body is warring with her heart, May wraps her arms around Ben returning his embrace. She keeps her eyes open as she breathes in the spicy scent of his cologne and feels the familiar heat of him through his starchy dress shirt. May takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and lets herself be held. She feels her anger dissipate the longer she stands with his arms around her, making more room for the feelings she's been trying to avoid.

He kisses the top of her head, puts his hands on her shoulders, and leans back to look at her. Emboldened by May's response, Ben speaks, rubbing both of her arms gently with his hands. "Can you please tell me what you're thinking?"

May shrugs. "I don't know," she mumbles as she focuses her vision on a spot somewhere beyond Ben's left ear. She feels like a sullen teenager, unwilling to tell her parents why she's upset because they wouldn't understand. 

"It's me, May. You can tell me anything. Let me be here for you." 

May finally meets his eye and decides that the only way to fix this is to be up front with him. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before speaking. "I'm not doing well at work."

"I gathered as much after your speech at the theater," Ben says softly.

"I haven't been pulling the numbers they expected of me. It was easy for me in New York, but here..." May trails off. Afraid of seeing what she assumes will be disappointment in Ben's eyes, she begins to look everywhere but at him; her shoes kicked haphazardly under the chair in the corner of the room, the sleep shirt she left on the floor this morning, Ben's feet. 

However, there is nothing but sympathy in Ben's eyes. Confidently he says, "It can be difficult to transition from one country to another. We may speak the same language but things are much different here. With time you'll be able to get into the swing of things."

"That's just it, I don't have time. They've already given me a co-manager. They promoted Patrick and he's supposed to help me out."

"That git from accounting?" Ben asks, disgust writ on his face. Ben has only met him once but it was enough to know he was an arrogant prick. 

May gives a half smile. "Yeah, him. Since I started showing he's been making little remarks about my weight. He even gave me the business card of his nutritionist. Asshole."

Ben's eyes narrow but he says nothing.

"So they all think I'm sitting in my office and eating my feelings while the charity fails. I've been in my office everyday making phone calls, sending e-mails, everything. Nothing works!" May backs away from Ben and starts pacing, her hands gesticulating wildly. "I've been trying to get meetings with all sorts of people but they either decline or cancel at the last minute." She wipes her sweaty palms down the sides of her dress. "The reason I'm flying out to New York is because I'm going to meet with some of my old contacts and see if they have any connections in Britain." May stops pacing and sits on the bed.

Ben kneels in front of her on the floor, placing his arms on either side of her legs. "May, you only have to ask and I'd be happy to put you in contact with some people that would love to donate-"

"I appreciate that, Ben. I honestly do, but that's not the point. I shouldn't have to rely on my boyfriend to get me donations. I should be able to do this on my own." 

"I understand the need to do things yourself," Ben says simply, rubbing the sides of her thighs with his thumbs. He leans down and softly kisses her growing stomach. He wants to help in any way that he can, but he doesn't want May to think that he doesn't have faith in her. 

Taking a deep breath, May tries to think of what to say next. He's being so kind to her that she doesn't want to seem like she's trying to start a fight, but she needs to get this out. "This has all been weighing on me since we opened and with the baby coming it's just been so much, Ben. Every time something falls through at work I feel like an absolute failure. My instinct is to work harder, do more, be more. But when I do that it just makes you angry and I know I'm letting you down. I'm not used to failing so miserably at everything I do." A tear falls down May's cheek and she hastily wipes it away, looking up at the ceiling to shield her face from Ben.

"Oh, May. Darling, I haven't meant to make things harder on you." Ben takes May's hands in his and tries to get her to look at him. "I have no excuse other than I can be a bit thick sometimes. I had no idea you'd been having such a hard time at work. I thought you were just-" Ben stops, looking at May apologetically before he continues, "- I thought you were just being over zealous about your job."

May's eyes begin to water and she looks back at Ben. "You have no idea how much I wish that were the case." She takes a deep breath and lets it out. 

With a squeeze of May's hand, Ben explains. "I suppose I've also been worried that maybe you're regretting moving here, being with me, keeping the baby. You've been so secretive about it, so reluctant to keep your appointments. I haven't asked because I'm terrified to hear the response." Ben's voice cracks on the last few words and his face breaks May's heart. "I can't stand it if I've done all of this to you."

A heavy silence presses in on May as she takes in Ben's words. She's instantly ashamed for making Ben think that she regretted anything to do with him or the baby. She pulls her hands from Ben's and puts them around his face. "Ben, please don't ever think I regret this," May says, tears pouring from her eyes. "I don't regret any of this. I'm so sorry I made you feel like you aren't the absolute love of my life."

May slides down from the bed to join Ben on the floor. He wraps his arms around her as soon as her knees hit the hardwood and he holds her tightly to his chest, smelling her hair, feeling her against him, her tears wetting his chest through the front of his shirt. Ben feels so relieved to hear her say these things but he knows that her problem is still there.

"May," Ben says as he rubs her back. "Please let me help you. Tell me what I can do to fix this."

May leans back to look him in the eyes. "I need you to love me. That's all I want Ben. I can handle work, I just need you." 

"You've got me, sweetheart." Ben uses his thumbs to clear the tears from beneath her eyes. There's still something they need to discuss but he isn't sure how to breach the subject. He decides to be direct. "May, about Angela, I'm sorry if I made you feel like I still had feelings for her, but I swear I don't. She's a friend and I've been worried about you and her sister went through the same thing. It was careless of me to tell her you were pregnant, but—"

"Ben, please listen to me for a second. I'm so sorry I reacted the way I did. You were fawning over her and I was already annoyed and... It just all hit me at once. She seemed very nice." May decides to try and lighten the moment. "And also I hate her because she's seen you naked."

"Most of London's seen me naked, love," Ben jokes. When May's eyes go wide, Ben hastens to explain. "During 'Frankenstein.'" 

Covering her face with her hands, May laughs almost hysterically. This has been such a long night and it feels good to do something other than cry. Ben laughs with her as he gently pulls her hands away, kissing her on the nose when he succeeds. "You're cute when you're embarrassed." 

May swats at his chest. "Sure." She stops laughing, feeling that if this is a night of confessions, she needs to be honest with him as well. "Um, Ben?" 

"Yes?"

"When I first moved to New York," May stops, struggling with how to say what she needs to.

Ben is slightly worried at the serious tone May has suddenly taken on. "What is it, May?" 

"Chuck helped me move into my apartment, he was there with me the first night. We kind of slept together." 

"You slept with Chuck." It wasn't a question. 

"Yes. Just the once. He had pulled out the Bob Dylan candle — the one I bought with you when we were at the festival, remember? — and he was fawning over it and I got upset. Anyway, it turned out he had just gotten out of a bad relationship too and we were both vunerable and —"

"May. It's fine." Ben takes a deep breath and releases it slowly. It would be extremely hipocritical of him to be angry with her. Besides, it had only been once. He had had an entire relationship and still remained friends with Angela. He knew that May had been with other people while they were apart but they were abstract in his head and it was easy to pretend they didn't exist. Chuck wasn't so easily ignored. "It's just... Chuck?"

"I know, it's weird. It's weird to me, and I'm sure it is to him too. I just wanted you to know that it happened, and that I understand that you can be friends with someone you once slept with. I'm sorry I got jealous." Ben stays silent for just a bit too long. "Wait, are you jealous?" May asks, laughing. "Ha! You're jealous! Here I thought you were a total cool guy and you're jealous! Of me!" May giggles and picks herself up off the floor. "An A-List actor, jealous over me! If only the girls from junior high could see me now!" 

Not thinking anything of it, May pulls off her dress to hang it up in the closet. Ben watches her from the floor, admiring the way her body curves. She's beginning to really show and the changes in her body excite him in ways that surprise him. He watches as she walks to the closet, her bum barely covered by a black lacey pair of panties. Ben climbs to his feet and walks slowly to May who is flicking through the hangers. May senses him coming and turns, raising an eyebrow at the sultry look on his face.

"Can I help you?" May asks.

Ben responds by wrapping his arms around her bare torso and pulling her body flush against his own. He moves his face to hers slowly until his lips are millimeters from her own. Electricity seems to spark in the small space between them and May feels the familiar warmth that precedes intimacy with her Ben. May closes the distance and presses her lips eagerly to him and he returns the kiss immediately.

May has always adored kissing Ben, ever since that first time at the music festival. There's always been a fire behind them; a hunger, and she is powerless to push him away. Ben licks her lip, requesting permission to enter her mouth and she grants it, moaning as his tongue explores her own.

Still kissing, Ben starts to move them to the bed. When it hits him behind the knees, he pulls away from May and stares into her eyes.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on, May Bell. I love you so much."

Unable to respond with words, May begins kissing him once more, removing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Discarding his shirt, she gently pushes him down on the bed. Ben automatically scoots back, removing his trousers and pants while May removes her tiny panties. She climbs on the bed and crawls up Ben's body, taking a moment to leave kisses on all of her favorite places. She kisses slowly up his chest and neck, stopping for a few moments to lick and nibble at the spot just below his ear. A low grumble in Ben's chest lets May know that he's enjoying himself.

May slowly grinds against Ben's erection, gasping slightly every time the tip slides past her sensitive clit. She sighs when Ben sits up and his arms wrap around to unclasp her bra. He pulls the garment off gently, looking into May's eyes the entire time.

"I need you," Ben says as he tosses her bra aside, maintaining eye contact.

May's voice is full of emotion. "Oh, Ben. I need you too."

Still sitting up, Ben clasps their hands together and May uses them to balance as she slowly impales herself on him. They both breathe out softly as May adjusts to having him inside of her. When May begins to move, she kisses Ben with all of the love she has in her heart for him, trying to silently show him just how much she wants and needs him.

Ben's hands roam all over May's body, everywhere they can touch. The silky skin on her back, the ample curve of her ass, her round belly filled with his child and finally her full and heavy breasts. He pulls away from her lips so that he can use his own to explore them. He starts from the outside and works his way to the middle, sucking and biting her nipples into hardened peaks. May has always been blessed in the breast department but now they are something even more exquisite as they ready themselves for their natural purpose. Ben smiles against her as he feels May throwing her head back and hears her whispering his name.

May can feel and hear herself getting wetter as Ben plays with her breasts. She still hasn't gotten used to the silence of a house without air conditioning but she supposes that in this instance it is useful. She can hear every noise Ben makes as his tongue and lips dance across her chest. She can hear the soft sound of skin moving over skin, and the slick sound of Ben moving in and out of her as she rises and falls against him.

"Lie back, baby," she commands, her voice a couple octaves deeper than usual.

Ben obeys, reluctantly pulling away from her, grabbing a pillow from the top of the bed and lying back. May braces herself with a hand on his headboard and begins moving on him once more. He stares up at her, completely enamored by her body. He moves his hands to her hips, guiding her thrusts. May's face is a vision of pleasure, her eyes closed and her full bottom lip between her teeth. Ben takes one of his hands and smooths it from her neck, over her chest and belly, until it settles where the two of them are joined together. He uses his thumb to play with her clit and she cries out, releasing her lip and opening her eyes to look down at him.

May smiles at him, her eyes slightly watery. "I love you."

"I love you too," Ben whispers, returning her smile.

May can feel herself getting closer to her climax. She grips the headboard tighter and begins to move faster on top of Ben, taking him deeper. She can feel Ben begin to tense up and knows he's close. She grabs the hand that is still on her hip and intertwines their fingers together. Ben's hand is warm and damp from the sweat on her skin and she squeezes it hard as her orgasm takes her over. Somewhere far away she can feel Ben's cock throbbing inside of her, hear him whispering her name over and over.

As she comes back down to earth May can't help the wide grin that takes over her face. For the first time since she found out she was pregnant she feels safe and happy. She didn't realize how much her job had taken over her life, how far the fear of this pregnancy has driven her away. She silently vows that from now on she will confide in Ben, her partner, her lover, whenever she is consumed with negativity.

When Ben's eyes open after his own orgasm, the first thing he sees is his beautiful May smiling down at him. He grins back at her.

They lie in bed wrapped around each other when May's phone starts buzzing on the bedside table. She reaches over Ben to grab it. "My assistant has my flight booked. I have to be at the airport by 3 a.m." 

"I'll take you," Ben says, running his fingers through May's hair. 

She looks at him in surprise. "Are you sure? I can just order a car." 

"Nonsense. I'm taking you. Now, put that phone down and lets see what else we can get up to before you fall asleep." 

May sets her phone back on the table and kisses Ben's chest. "I'm definitely going to need something to eat before I put out again. Your child and I are hungry." 

Ben grins widely and responds, "What are my girlfriend and child hungry for?" 

May thinks for a second as they both climb out of their bed, not bothering to get dressed. "Eggs, I think. Scrambled. Oooh, and toast. Oh, and do we have any salsa?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I hate when they fight! Next chapter brings the return of CHUCK!


	11. If I'm the One That You Love The Most

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe. Oh, and also NSFW!

_It might sound silly for me to think childish thoughts like these._   
_But I'm so tired of acting tough and I'm gonna do what I please!_   
**Hotel Yorba - The White Stripes**

As the recently landed plane taxis around the runway, May fishes her cell phone out of her purse. She had slept for the last few hours of the flight and was only woken by the pilot’s announcement of their impending arrival. A steady stream of recycled air blows pleasantly against her face as she quickly scrolls down her contacts to Ben’s name. She taps hastily at the icon with his face smiling goofily at her.

Ben answers on the second ring. “Hello lover,” Ben says and May can hear his smile in his voice.

"Hello yourself," she answers back with a smirk. Ben and May were unable to keep their hands off of each other last night and as such May had been completely exhausted when she finally settled onto the plane with minutes to spare.

"Have you just landed?"

"I have. We’re just pulling up to the terminal now." May speaks quietly though there was no need as the din of people sat still too long filled the plane.

"Anyone good on your flight?" Ben asks, knowing how much of a kick May gets out of seeing famous people in public.

May looks around to make sure no one is paying attention to her. She’s flying first class and the seat next to her was empty, but one can never be to careful. “I think Matt Damon is a couple of seats in front of me,” she whispers, cupping her hands over her mouth in case someone can read lips. “His hair is getting quite long, it looks good.” As the people in front of her stand, she shifts in her seat to get a better look. “Oooh, it’s definitely him! He’s so handsome in person.”

Ben laughs. “You think you’d be well sated after last night!”

"I could go for some more sating right now to be honest," May says, her mind drifting to the fourth and final time Ben made her come last night, her face pressed into the bed and her ass high in the air, the mark of his hand red on her skin.

"Easy, darling," Ben laughs, familiar with the sound of her voice when she’s in a mood. "You’ll be home soon enough and I’ll see what I can do."

May squeezes her legs together at Ben’s words and sighs. “That sounds lovely.”

There’s a comfortable silence that follows while May thinks dreamily about going home to Ben. She isn’t sure if it’s hormones that are making her miss Ben so terribly, she just knows she wants to get this trip over as fast as she can.

"What are your plans today?" Ben asks, breaking the silence.

"I’m not quite sure yet," May lies easily. May had stayed awake for most of the flight thinking of a solution to her problem. She was too busy to give herself fully to this pregnancy and to her job. It wasn’t like she was working a normal 40 hour a week, Monday-Friday gig where she had nights and weekends to plan for her child. May’s job takes up every piece of her brain-space, and any job she’s worked always has, but now she had someone else to be thinking about: her child. And it isn’t just her child she’s thinking about. May legitimately cares about the work she’s doing with To Be Determined, and if she is unable to give it her all then she would only be doing the people they help a disservice. At the same time, she doesn’t want to stop working for the company she loves and she wants to help in any way she can and if her plan works, everything will be perfect.

"Is Chuck picking you up at the airport?"

"He is. I actually have to get off now so I can call him and let him know I’ve landed. I love you, Ben. And I miss you so much. I can’t wait to be home with you."

"Aww, I love you too. What’s got you in such a mood?" Ben asks, his lisp sneaking out because he’s too tired to cover it up.

"Orgasm number four," May laughs out as Matt Damon walks past her and raises an eyebrow. "Shit, I think Matt Damon just heard me say that."

Ben’s laughter barks loudly through the phone until May gives a hasty farewell and ends the call.

***

Chuck is standing next to baggage claim with her suitcase next to him as she descends the escalator. She smiles when she sees him and waves to get his attention. When he spots her he grins until she finally steps off the escalator and her body comes into view. His mouth drops and his eyebrows shoot half way up his forehead.

May laughs at his expression as she pulls him into a big hug. “So, I’m pregnant,” she says, pulling back, her eyes crinkled with how big her grin is.

"Clearly!" Chuck says, pulling her into another hug. "We’re happy about this right? It is Benedict’s?"

May tuts indignantly as she slaps at his arm. “What a lovely greeting! Yes it’s Ben’s, and yes we’re happy. Well, we are now. I’ve got a ton of stuff to tell you in the car. I need you to take me to TBD.”

"So touchy, is it the pregnancy hormones?" Chuck jokes, holding out his elbow to May.

"You’re a pregnancy hormone," May says, poking him in the side as they walk past a paparazzo snapping pics of Matt Damon as he waits for his bag.

***

It’s been raining in London since early this morning and the streets look like glass as Ben walks from his bike to his front door. The grey dusk sky reflects itself in the water on the road creating a light that seems to have bled everything else of its color. Ben loves London as if it were a family member, but often longs for a sunnier and warmer climate. Smiling to himself, he decides he’ll suggest a trip to somewhere tropical when May gets home tomorrow.

As Ben enters his home, he places his helmet on the table by the door and is surprised to see a light on in the kitchen as he’s usually good about conserving energy. It isn’t until he walks into the kitchen and sees a pizza box open with a little over half missing that he begins to worry. He walks toward the stairs and calls up.

"May?"

"Up here, Ben!" May calls down the stairs and relief washes over him as he follows her voice.

Ben is surprised to find that it’s coming from the nursery which is filled to the brim with boxes of unbuilt baby furniture. He pushes open the door, ready to ask what she’s doing home already but as soon as he sees her, his jaw drops. The walls had all been painted the soft green color that Ben and Ginger had picked out (and that May had declared was “just fine!”) during her trip to London last month. The beautiful crib that Ben and May had bought on a rare shopping trip together had been assembled and placed beneath a sprawling white tree. Just across the trunk in a dark green was: “Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.” May had placed some of her Tolkien memorabilia around the room to match the quote on the wall.

May stands in the middle of the room with her arms spread out, a wide hopeful smile on her face as she waits for Ben’s response. “Surprise!”

"Wha-" Ben says and breathes out, turning around and taking in the room. "How? When?" Ben wipes a hand down his face.

"I got home early this morning. I knew you were at your parents for Sunday Roast or whatever, and I wanted to do this before you got home. I’ve been on FaceTime with Mom," May finishes ruefully, gesturing toward the laptop on the changing table. "She helped with the placement of everything."

Ben laughs and pulls her into a hug. “May, it’s gorgeous! What possessed you to do all of this? I would have helped!”

May leans away from him and smiles. “I know. I just needed to do this myself. I haven’t been very present for all of this,” she says, gesturing at her stomach.

Ben pulls her back to him and kisses the top of her head. “I love you.”

"I love you too. Ben, I’ve got something to tell you. Why don’t you take a seat in this lovely chair that I almost broke my fingers putting together?" May presents the chair behind her with a flourish.

Ben gingerly takes a seat, testing the chair’s sturdiness before letting it hold his weight completely. “All right. Should I be worried?”

"No, it’s just I have a lot to say. I don’t want you to say anything until I’m done, all right?" May waits for him to assent to this and when he nods she continues.

"When I went to New York, I didn’t meet with any clients. After everything that happened the other night, I couldn’t sleep on the flight even though I was completely exhausted." May winks at Ben and keeps talking. "I started thinking about what I really wanted out of my life. Everything I’ve ever done was because I was trying to be the best at whatever I did, and I’ve always succeeded. Even when things were horrible in Nashville, I was still very good at what I did."

May starts pacing now, gesturing with her hands as she talks. “Now, things aren’t really going so well and I thought it was because I was losing my touch. But I realized that it was because I have something else in my life now that I need to be good at. I’m going to be a mother and I want to be the best at being a mother.” She turns to Ben who looks as if he’s about to speak, but thinks better of it and nods instead.

May smiles at him. “So, when I was in New York I went and saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith and told them that I wanted to step down as the head of the London office. I’ll still be working there, but as an accountant. They’re going to promote Patrick, with my blessing of course.” May gives Ben a smug smile and he laughs. “So, I’ll have a nine to five job now, weekends and holidays off to spend with my family. And Ben, I’m so excited. I’m so excited to have a family with you. To have Christmases and Easters and birthdays and family vacations. I’m excited to work at a boring job at an amazing company and come home to my amazing life with you and our baby. I didn’t do this for you, Ben, it’s important to me that you know that. But I also need you to know that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything.” May takes a deep breath and stops pacing. “Okay, I’m done,” she says with a laugh.

Ben says nothing but stands and walks to May, cupping her face and gazing into her eyes as she smiles at him. His heart is full to burst and he’s scared to speak for fear of not properly conveying how much what she’s said means to him, how proud he is of her and everything she’s done in her life. So instead he kisses her, hard and demanding, trying to put how incredibly happy he is in this moment into it. When he pulls back to see her lips red and swollen but smiling he does the only thing he can possibly fathom doing in this moment and drops to one knee.

May gasps above him and both of them begin to cry and laugh at the same time. He takes her hands in his. “May, I can’t begin to tell you what you mean to me, what you’ve done for me, what you’ve brought to my life, I just know that I don’t want to live it without you. Will you marry m-“

"Yes!" May says laughing, tears streaming down her face. "Oh Ben, of course I’ll marry you."

Ben laughs and he’s never been happier in his entire life than he is in this moment. “I love you so much.” He threads a hand into her long hair and pulls her lips to his once more. They kiss for a while, only pulling back to smile and giggle at each other before Ben remembers something, his eyes going wide.

"I have a ring! I bought it a while ago and I had wanted to plan something for you but I couldn’t help myself." Ben smiles and picks himself up off the floor. "Stay there! I’ll be right back."

Less than a minute later Ben is back and on the floor with May presenting her with a small Tiffany blue box. “I can’t believe you already bought me a ring.” May can feel herself blushing as she opens the top. May gasps again. “Ben, it’s beautiful.” Inside is a ring that is perfectly her taste and she instantly itches to have it on her finger.

"Look on the inside, I had it engraved. It might be silly, but it was kind of the reason that we met and…" May kisses Ben to shut him up as she pulls the ring out of the box and looks on the inside to see the Rolling Stones tongue engraved on the inside of the band opposite the diamond.

"I love it! It’s perfect!" May is still crying and smiling as Ben takes the ring from her and slips it on her finger.

Ben bites his lip as he looks at his pregnant fiancee. He watches her as she moves her hand around, looking at the ring from different angles. After a few seconds she looks back at Ben and he immediately recognizes the look in her eyes as she rises up on her knees in front of him. “I believe I owe you a seeing to, Miss Bell.” He watches May’s eyes dialate almost instantly and knows he’s correctly read the signs.

"I remember you saying something about that. Oh Benedict, I love you so much, and I’d love nothing more than to ride you slow and sweet, but I’ve been so horny lately and I really really need you to fuck me into the floor."

"Christ, May." Ben rises to his knees and begins to take off his trousers. "Take your clothes off and lay down on the floor, darling."

May hastens to obey, not at all dismayed to hear a ripping sound when she practically tears her bra away from her arms. Once she’s completely naked she lowers herself to the floor while Ben watches her.

"Spread your legs." Ben’s delicious voice sends shivers up May’s spine as she follows his orders. He lowers himself down to her, taking a moment to gently kiss her stomach before bringing his face to hers, resting his weight on his left hand. Ben trails kisses down May’s jaw as he draws his free hand slowly down her body. He looks down to see goosebumps rising on her skin as his hands move slowly over her swollen breasts. "You’re so fucking gorgeous like this, May. You’ve always been my beautiful girl, but laid out like this, wanton, filled with our child, it’s a Herculean effort to keep from fucking you raw right this second."

"Oh God, Ben. Please," May whimpers, spreading her legs further, trying to will his hand lower.

Ben moves down to kiss her breasts, his hand playing with the one his mouth isn’t. May cries out when he finally takes a nipple into his mouth, laving it quickly with his tongue and nibbling gently. He smiles against her as he feels May’s body arching off the floor. He continues his attentions with his mouth as his hand moves down to relieve the tension he knows is building inside her as it is building in him too.

He swears when he feels how wet she is and he moves back up to look her in the eyes as he enters to fingers inside of her. “You’re always so ready for me, May. My lovely, naughty fiancee.”

"Fuck!" May cries out as Ben’s talented fingers rub slowly against that spot inside her. "Oh God, right there Ben. Oh I love you so much, please, please."

Ben adds another finger inside of her, moving them slow but pushing them deep. “Do you hear how wet you are? How easily you’re taking me inside of you? How does it feel to have my fingers so deep in you May?” May is too far gone to answer intelligibly and as soon as Ben moves his thumb to her clit, she screams and claws at the rug beneath her, as she pulses around his fingers. He kisses her neck as she says his name over and over like a mantra.

Ben expects to give May a bit of time to come down but before he can she’s up and is ushering him against the wall into a sitting posistion. She pulls his underwear down just enough to pull out his hard cock before straddling him and taking him inside of her. She slides down slowly while looking him in the eyes.

"I fucking love you." May kisses him hard, framing his face with her hands, undulating her hips slowly. "I never want anyone but you inside me. I never want anyone but you feeling me like this. I can’t wait to spend forever with you, making love to you, raising a family with you, my beautiful Ben." And then she kisses him and it’s slow and sensual until it’s not. Then it’s all tongues and teeth and Ben’s hands move to her hips to guide her faster on top of him and before long they’re both crying out declarations of love for each other as they come together on the floor.

After a few minutes, Ben is still leaning against the wall, while May still sits on top of him, his arms wrapped around her, her head on his shoulder, a contented smile on her face.

"Hey, Ben?"

"Yes, darling?"

"We’re getting married."

Ben can’t see her face, but he feels her smile grow wider against his shoulder. He squeezes her to him even tighter. “Yes, we are.”


	12. Life Would Still Go On, Believe Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we find out the sex and the name of the baby and May is bored. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 1 more chapter and an epilogue left! Thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout this story by commenting and leaving kudos :). You guys are sweet to the max.

_I may not always love you_   
_But long as there are stars above you_   
_You never need to doubt it_   
_I'll make you so sure about it._   
_God only knows what I'd be without you._   
**God Only Knows - The Beach Boys**

After what has seemed like years of rain, it is finally sunny in London. May has her window rolled down, her eyes shut, and is allowing the wind blow on her face and through her hair as Ben drives them to the obstetrician. They are finding out the sex of the baby today, if it cooperates. May is nervous but she can't quite pin down why. Instead of figuring it out she tries to meditate like Ben does: be in the moment, clear her mind. 

"What are you doing, May?" 

May opens her eyes and looks over at Ben. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" 

"I honestly don't care. I just want it to be healthy." Ben can't hide the smile that grows on his face every time he thinks about the baby. 

May is alarmed by his zen attitude. Is she wrong for thinking too much about this? "You honestly don't care either way? You don't have a preference?" 

Ben notices the worried tone in her voice and glances over at her. "Do you have a preference? What are you hoping for?"

"I don't know. I don't know. I mean, a girl would be great because I can handle a girl. I know girl stuff. Well, some," she adds distractedly, looking back out the window. "A boy would be super cute because I'm just imagining a tiny little you running around with curly hair, but I know literally nothing about boys!" 

"You're in luck because I know plenty about boy stuff as I happen to be one." Ben winks at her and May laughs as she crosses her arms. 

"Well, whatever it is, at least I have you to help take the blame if it turns out screwed up." 

"That's lovely, May," Ben teases, rubbing his hand along her thigh in an attempt to soothe her. "It's always good to plan for the future." 

...

May is lying on the table, her shirt pushed up, her belly covered in goop, and an ultrasound wand sliding around. Ben sits next to her, holding and stroking her hand and staring intently at the outline of their baby on the screen. 

"Ahh, there it is," the doctor says with a grin. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," Ben says excitedly as May whispers, "oh God." 

"It's a boy!" The doctor begins pointing and circling things on the screen, explaining to Ben and May what parts are what but May can't focus on anything she's saying. 

A boy. A little baby boy. May squeezes Ben's hand as her eyes fill with tears of joy. Of course it's a boy. She looks at her fiancee to see his eyes are watering too. May smiles at Ben and they both begin to laugh. A boy. A son.

"Well, I'll leave you to clean up, May. I'll see you in my office when you're done. Congratulations, you two!" 

...

"A son! I can't believe it. I'm so happy. Oh my God, I hope he looks like you, Ben," May says excitedly as they look over the menu at a new restaurant Ben's been wanting to try. "Well, maybe not so much like you. You were a cute baby, I don't know how I wouldn't completely spoil him rotten," she adds thoughtfully, imagining herself telling a tiny baby Ben that he couldn't have another piece of candy.

"I'm sure you'll make due. And I hope he looks like you, your beautiful big eyes and dark hair." Ben reaches across and gathers May's hair in his hands and smiles fondly at her. "I think I'm going to have the salmon." 

"You would. So, boy names. What are you thinking? I like Jagger." 

"Jagger Cumberbatch! That's horrible, May!"

"That sounds really sweet, actually. And I was thinking Jagger Bell-Cumberbatch." 

"Bell-Cumberbatch?" Ben asks, raising an eyebrow and smiling. 

"Well, I figure I'm going to hyphenate my name when we get married so it'd be nice if our son had my name in there too. Plus you have forty-five names anyway. It's tradition."

"You're going to take my name?"

"Of course I am. I have the most boring name of all time. I'm excited to have to spell my name to people and help them pronounce it. May Winifred Bell-Cumberbatch," she says in her most regal voice. "That sounds nice, doesn't it?"

Ben pulls her to him and kisses her on the head. "Very posh sounding, darling. I love you." 

"I love you too, and I'm getting a steak. I swear, lately I've been craving red meat almost as much as I've been craving your co-" 

"Are we ready to order?" An uncomfortable looking waiter stands in front of them as May blushes furiously and Ben tries hard not to laugh. 

...

The next few weeks find May incredibly bored at work. She's enjoying working with numbers again well enough, but she's so in tune with the company's ins and outs that her work is usually over by midday which leaves her plenty of time to shop on the internet. 

The spoils of one such shopping spree arrives on a rare free Saturday when Ben and May are both at home. May walks down the stairs after hearing the doorbell to see Ben standing in the middle of the living room surrounded by boxes. 

May's face lights up as she realizes what it is. "Oh! My stuff came! Or rather our son's stuff came." Her center of gravity having greatly shifted in the final months of her pregnancy, she carefully shuffles the rest of the way down the stairs. 

Ben is bemused and a bit taken aback by all the boxes. "What is all of this?"

Lowering herself down onto the floor with a huff, she begins opening the closest box. "Just a few odds and ends," May says cheerfully. She squeals when she pulls the first item out of the box: a tiny grey suit jacket very similar to one Benedict has. "Look at it! Look how tiny! Now he can look like his daddy!" 

Ben smiles and sits down on the floor next to May and starts opening the boxes with her. They spend all day cooing over all the tiny outfits, washing them, and putting them away. 

Another one of May's cures for boredom is texting Ben dirty pictures when she knows he's surrounded by co-workers or friends. Ben usually answers back with several exclamation points and pounces as soon as he sees her again but one day he decides to answer twenty minutes after a text, in person. 

May can hear him chatting with the secretaries and making them laugh. She rolls her eyes and pretends to be working just as he comes in and shuts her door. She makes to stand up but Ben tells her to stay put as he gets to his knees and shows her just how much he loves the picture she sent him that day. 

...

One night when May is unable to sleep, she rolls over and rubs Ben's back. 

Ben sighs contentedly and rolls over to face May. "Can't sleep, love?" He opens his arms and she scoots into them, her head using the bottom arm as a pillow. He puts his cheek on the top of her head.

May draws a finger around Ben's chest. "What do you think we'll be doing in five years?" 

"Hmm, I'm not sure. We'll be married. Hopefully we'll both still be flourishing in our careers. We'll have an almost five year old son. Maybe we'll have a bigger place." Ben reaches down and grabs one of her hands and kisses her fingers. 

"A bigger place would be nice. Still in the city though." Ben nods in agreement, still kissing her hand. "Do you think we'll have more kids?"

Ben squeezes May's hand, places it back on his chest and puts his arm around her, rubbing her back. "I'd like to, of course. What do you think?" 

May lets out a sleepy laugh. "We'll have to see if I can handle this one, and then we'll see. I think that would be nice though."

There is a full moon tonight and it's light fills the room through the open window. Ben and May cuddle together in a comfortable silence before it's broken by Ben. 

"What do you think of the name 'Finn?'" 

"Finn."

"Yes, Finn Bell-Cumberbatch," Ben says and May can hear a smile in his voice. 

"I like that," May says thoughtfully. "I like that a lot. Finn. Baby Finn." May runs a hand down her stomach and feels a kick. "I think he likes it too, he's kicking around in there." 

"Ooh, I want to feel," he says as he gently places a hand on May's belly. She moves his hand to where the action is and they both remain silent until he kicks again. "I can feel him." Ben breaths out through his nose slowly, his smile growing bigger. 

"You like your name, Finn?" May asks softly. The baby kicks again and May takes it as a yes. "Finn it is, then." May looks up to see Ben staring at her with a gigantic smile on his face. "What?"

"I adore you, May." He leans in and kisses her on the lips, lingering just a moment. 

"I adore you too, Ben. Thank you for almost knocking me over at that music festival," May says, smirking. 

"Any time, darling. I'll have to thank Claire next time we see her for being so high maintenance." 

"As if she's the only one," May says as she laughs and pokes Ben in the side.


	13. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well fuck me, I do apologize for that super long wait! I do have the next (and last) chapter finished, I just have to edit it! Thank you to everyone who has ever read this story!

_Laugh until we think we'll die_   
_Barefoot on a summer night_   
_Never could be sweeter than with you._   
**Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Home**

It is the hottest August on record, May is one week overdue and she is completely miserable. Everything is swollen, she can't get off of the couch without help, and she is constantly sweating. She curses the lack of air conditioning in London as she stands naked, directly in front of a fan, trying to cool herself down.

"You could get induced, May," Ben says from the bed, reading a script.

"He will come out when he's ready to come out, Benedict." She says his name sharply, like a curse. During her off time at work she's been studying all she could find about natural births. She's read blogs and medical books and watched enough birth videos to believe that she could do it herself if she wished to. She made Ben watch a woman giving birth at home, kneeling on her bed and catching her own baby insisting that she could do that too. Alarmed, Ben calmly talks her into going to the hospital while still backing her up on having a natural birth. "The stuff they give you to get the baby out makes it hurt ten times worse and I'm not about that."

The doorbell rings and May sighs loudly as she turns to let the fan begin cooling off her other side. Ben gets up off the bed, kissing May on the cheek as he passes. A few minutes later, May can hear someone ascending the stairs. The door opens and she comes in seconds later. May doesn't move to cover herself, feeling that she's seen Claire in various states of undress in her lifetime and Claire can get over it.

"Jesus, May May! You're huge!"

May scowls and she can hear Ben groaning from downstairs. "Thanks."

"You look beautiful, obviously, but Christ. How are you feeling?" Claire gets just close enough to give May a kiss on the cheek and backs away quickly.

"What do you think? I feel like shit, I look like a tank, and Finn will not come out of me."

Claire sits on the bench in front of the bed. "Ben says that you won't go get induced."

"Ben isn't the one that's going to be pushing his gigantic son out of his crotch so I don't really care what he has to say." May says this loud enough for Ben to hear her.

Claire is highly amused. "Why don't you put some clothes on and go for a walk with me? I've heard walking can wiggle it out."

May glares at Claire but goes to grab a tank top and a pair of running shorts. "I need you to help me put this on."

"Do you need a bra or anything?" Claire asks as she helps May into her shorts.

"The tank top has a built in bra," May says shortly.

Claire looks at the top uncertainly as she helps May into it. "Your tits are huge. Ben must be enjoying them."

"I'm sure he would if he was allowed to touch them. Can't say I'm feeling very sexy at the moment." May sighs then smirks. "I do catch him staring quite a bit."

Claire laughs. "I thought he might." She grabs May's flip-flops from under the bed and helps her slide them onto her feet. "Let's go! A nice little walk will do you some good."

Claire bounds down the stairs and May watches her with disdain as she waddles down the steps, holding tightly to the banister.

"We're going for a walk, Ben!" Claire says cheerfully.

Ben jumps up off the couch with a matching cheerful grin that May catches as she gets to the bottom of the stairs. "That's lovely! It'll be nice to get outside, won't it, darling?"

May narrows her eyes at both of them and waddles sullenly to the door. "Yes, lovely."

...

That evening, Ben awakens to May breathing heavily. He flips on the lamp and looks towards the noise to see her doing squats next to her side of the bed. Before he can say anything she gets stuck in a squat and rolls back onto the floor. He jumps out of bed and runs over to where she now lies, spread eagle on the floor.

"May! Are you alright? What on earth are you doing?" Ben kneels down to take her hand and help her up.

"Trying to urge him out! The doctor said I was dilating so I figure I can just kind of push him down and stretch everything out," May says, breathing heavily still.

"I don't think that's how it works, May."

"I had to try." May looks so put out and Ben has no idea what to do to make her feel better. "I just want him out. I just want him to be here already. I want to meet him. I mean obviously I feel miserable, but more than anything I want to hold him in my arms."

Ben knows all too well how May is feeling. He's wanted children his entire life and cannot wait to meet his son, but he knows that his feelings are nothing compared to May's who has carried their child for nine months. He smiles kindly at her. "I can't wait to meet him either."

May smiles sheepishly at him in return, realizing how silly she must look.

Ben wraps his arms around her and kisses the top of her head. "How about I make you some tea and then we can come back up and I'll rub your feet?"

"Mmmm, that sounds lovely. Well, not the tea, I'd rather have some chocolate milk, but the rest is good."

"Then that's what you'll get," Ben says as he takes her hand and leads her downstairs into the kitchen.

He makes May some chocolate milk while she leans on the kitchen counter to stretch out her back. "I thought having big boobs was difficult. I mean, they're even bigger now plus I've got an extra 40 pounds hanging off of me and my back literally feels like it's going to fall off."

"I can't imagine," Ben says sympathetically while stirring the milk.

"Do you think you'd ever get fat for a role?"

Ben is silent, thinking, as he hands May her milk. "I think it would depend on the role and how big I'd have to get. I obviously don't want to be unhealthy but if my being smaller would detract from the role then I suppose I'd have to."

May finishes her milk in a few big gulps and sits the empty glass on the bar. She wipes her mouth and laughs at Ben's amused expression. "Yes?"

"Nothing, just I've never seen you drink anything so fast before."

"Well, I was thirsty," May sniffs, then thinks for a moment. "I've always thought it would be fun to get big for a role. Claire is always dieting and watching what she eats and that seems completely miserable."

"It's definitely miserable."

"I'm miserable right now," May says forlornly, thinking of when she wasn't as massive as she is now.

Ben pulls May into his arms. "It won't be long now, sweetheart. I promise. Let's go upstairs and we'll start on that foot rub."

May sighs and shifts her feet, mentally lamenting the heat that makes them stick to the floor.

***

The rain has brought a welcome respite to the heat that's rolled through London in the past weeks. Chuck and May walk on the damp sidewalks, huddled under an umbrella and trying to decide where to eat.

Chuck is in town to check on the company and help fill in while May is on maternity leave. May is happy to be out with him as she's missed her friend, but she has a sneaking suspicion that she's being babysat. May and Ben had just gotten home from her daily doctor's appointment, where they were informed that May has begun to dilate, when Chuck showed up at the flat offering to take May to lunch.

"There's a really good sandwich shop just up here," May says, using her arm looped through Chuck's in a failed attempt to keep herself from waddling.

Feeling her weight shift onto him, Chuck puts a hand on her arm to help steady her. "Sounds great. Are you alright?"

May winces as her sciatic nerve twinges. "I'm fine, I'm just trying to keep from waddling. I usually don't look at the news but now that I'm out of work there's nothing to do and there was a video on the Daily Mail of me waddling down the street. Horrific."

Knitting his eyebrows together at the audacity of someone taking a picture of a pregnant woman and judging her walk. "Fuck those people. Waddle is such a ridiculous word."

"Yes it is and we're saying it far too much in this conversation." She slows down their pace as they reach the open door of the eatery and leads Chuck inside. "If there are any photogs now then just imagine what they'll think when they see me arm in arm with an attractive ginger. I'll be whoring around on England's sweetheart."

Chuck laughs loudly as he leads May to a table. "Sit down and I'll order. You want a club, right?"

May sits and shifts around trying to find a position that doesn't bother her throbbing back. "How sweet, he remembers!"

Chuck rolls his eyes and walks up to the counter where a pretty girl is standing behind the till. May recognizes Chuck's flirting stance immediately and she snickers to herself while she watches him try and make her laugh. To his credit, the girl seems to find him charming judging by her timid laughter and slight grin. Once the other girl working brings his and May's orders to him, he turns around, smirking, and begins strutting back to the table. He almost makes it to the table before his left foot slides on a used mustard packet and May just grabs their food before he falls into the table.

May starts laughing immediately, harder than she's laughed in a long time. Chuck scowls at her but she can see the sides of his mouth turning up slightly. The girl behind the counter runs to Chuck to make sure he's okay which makes May laugh even harder. Serves him right, May thinks, trying to hook up with a girl while his very pregnant and starving friend waits alone at a table.

Feeling a wet gush from deep inside of her, May stops laughing. Chuck looks over at her and her eyes grow wide as another gush comes.

"May, are you all right?" Chuck asks in alarm.

May is caught between panic and excitement. "I think my water just broke."


	14. Dear Prudence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end!! Thank you all so much for your kudos and your comments! It means so much to me and to everyone who writes. You're all the best :)

_The sun is up,_  
_The sky is blue,_  
_It's beautiful,_  
_And so are you._  
**The Beatles - Dear Prudence**

**_After Ben and Claire's premiere..._ **

Ben backs May into the room, his lips working fiercely against hers as they moan desperately into each other's mouths. The door clicks shut behind them and they both groan as they begin tearing at clothes. Off comes Ben's suit jacket, falling to the floor in a heap. The sound of May's zip being undone by Ben's deft fingers cuts through the sound of her heavy breathing. 

"Oh God," May gasps while Ben kisses down her neck. He lets her dress slide slowly to the ground and her breasts are released from the tight hold the bodice of the garment had on them. She steps out of it and away from Ben. 

Ben looks at her standing in front of him in nothing but a tiny pair of black panties, her chest rising and falling with desperate gulps of air. His hands shake with how much he wants to touch her, to feel her skin again. He could almost cry with the intensity of his emotions at seeing her bare before him, his May with her beautiful flushed cheeks and her perfect skin and gorgeous breasts. But more than that it's the fact that's she's here, that she agreed to speak to him after the way they parted. Ben had never regretted anything in his life as much as he regretted ending things with her. In a desperate need to be close to her again, he steps over her dress, presses his body flush against hers, and wraps his arms around her waist.

May closes her eyes at the feeling of her nipples rubbing against his starchy dress shirt, incredibly turned on by the fact that he stands over her fully clothed while she is almost completely naked. She certainly hadn't anticipated the night going like this but she can't say she is disappointed. May hadn't planned on telling Ben that she loved him, planning instead to keep it to herself and hope that it went away. The best part of the evening, besides what's happening right now, is when he said that he loved her too, and fuck, if that doesn't turn her on even more. She looks up at Ben's face and he looks just as far gone as she feels. He gets a mischievous grin as he bends his knees and wraps his arms around her thighs, lifting her up and taking her to the bed. 

May squeals and laughs as he tosses her gently on the bed. "Ben!"

"Be still," he rumbles softly as he crawls up her body. He places tiny kisses on her legs, from her ankles to her thighs. He places more teasing, light kisses over her panties and continues his trek upwards until he reaches her breasts. "I don't think words can express how much I've missed you," he murmurs as he runs his nose along the peaks. "And these... I've missed the feel of them in my hands, them bouncing against my chest while I fuck you." He kisses and licks around her nipples while cupping both breasts in his hands. "I've missed having them in my mouth." 

May arches her back and presses herself into him. "They've missed being in your mouth, Ben," she says, voice straining. She can barely stand herself with how much she's missed this, missed being with him like this. Of course she's missed his companionship, just as he's missed her's, but they've always had an intense intimate connection that neither of them have been able to replicate in their months apart. "Ben, baby, come here," she says, putting her fingers in his hair and guiding his face up to hers. "I need you." 

"You have me, May," Ben groans and begins to kiss her hungrily. "Christ, you've got me." 

It isn't long before May and Ben have his trousers and pants pushed down mid thigh, May's panties tossed on the floor. May pushes Ben to roll him onto his back and she straddles his hips. He takes a hold of his dick and guides it to her opening. May puts her hands on his chest to brace herself and they both watch him disappear into her as she slowly lowers herself onto him. Once she's taken him all in, they both sigh and look into each other's eyes. 

"I love you, May."

"I love you too." 

May begins to move on top of him, relishing in the feeling of being filled by him once again. Ben places his hands over hers on his chest. 

"You feel so amazing inside me, baby. I've missed you so much." 

Ben lifts one of her hands to his mouth and kisses it. "I've missed having you hot and wet and wrapped around me." He takes his other hand and moves it to where they're joined together and begins lightly brushing her clit with his thumb. 

"Oh God, Ben. Yes, just like that," May groans as she begins to ride him a bit faster. She leans back and spreads her legs wider so that she's completely open to him, showing him everything. 

Ben groans and uses his free hand to grip her waist and scoots back against the headboard so that he's sitting up straight and his mouth is able to get to her breasts. He continues to play with her clit as he sucks one of her tight buds into his mouth. 

Letting out a guttural cry, May places her hands on Ben's shoulders for leverage and begins grinding in earnest on his cock and against his hand. Ben lets her breast go with a 'pop' and begins kissing up her neck and along her jaw, the only sounds in the room the slickness of where they're joined together and May's tiny cries. 

After a moment he moves back, more than content to watch her use his body for her pleasure. Sensing how close she is, he begins to apply more pressure to her most sensitive area and smiles when she starts to move faster. 

"Have you missed my cock, darling?"

"Yes, yes, Ben, oh yes." 

"Mmmm," he sighs, his already deep voice even deeper with lust. "It's certainly missed you, my beautiful May. It's missed being - oh christ yes, just like that - slick with you, dripping in your need. Fuck, May, you feel so good."

"Oh God, I'm so close."

Ben grabs her hips and starts to meet her thrust for thrust. May starts babbling unintelligibly with Ben's name mixed in as he feels her squeeze around him. 

"Come for me darling, yes, yesss just like that," Ben says gently, guiding her through her orgasm as he feels his own wash over him. "Fuck. I love you, I love you, I love you," he says, punctuating each 'I love you' with a slow push inside of her...

***

**_Present Day..._ **

"Oh Christ, oh God," May grits out, holding tightly to Chuck's shaking hand. She lays curled on her side, hooked only to a fetal monitor, trying desperately to remember the breathing techniques she obsessively studied for the last few months. As her contraction finally subsides she scoots herself back into a sitting position and looks at Chuck who is looking more uncomfortable than she's ever seen him. 

As soon as her water had broken, Chuck jumped into action calling everyone while pushing May into the first cab he saw, knocking a disgruntled business man out of the way in the process. He was able to reach everyone (Claire, May's parents who were in charge of calling Ben's parents) except for Ben for whom he left several voicemails and texts. May watched Chuck freak out with great amusement until the first painful contraction hit her in the cab. 

Now, as they sit silently in the hospital room, listening to the fetal monitor beep rhythmically, Chuck perks up. 

"I think I hear the doctor coming," he whispers excitedly. 

May rolls her eyes. "Why are you whispering? And don't sound so excited, you're not leaving until Ben gets here," she snaps. She knows she's being unjustly mean to Chuck but she can't help it. 

"It's good to know pain makes you cranky," Chuck says, narrowing his eyes at her. 

May bristles. "YOU are making me cranky! You don't need to pat me on the head like a dog every time I'm having a contraction." Again, she knows he's doing his best, but he's not Ben. 

May's mother and father choose that moment to burst into the hospital room, Ginger running straight to May's side and Steven carrying a giant stuffed swordfish and surely enough balloons to levitate his new grandson at least a few feet. 

"Mommy!" May cries out dramatically, and Chuck, looking relieved to see them too, tries to get up slowly. May only tightens her hold on his wrist as her mother kisses her cheek and smooths her hair. 

"Where were you when her water broke, son?" Steven asks Chuck, raising his eyebrows at May's death grip on his wrist. 

Chuck silently begs for help and Steven steps forward to try and get May to let go. "We were in the deli not too far from their house. She was laughing at me for tripping over a table and I guess that set her off." 

May begins laughing really hard at the memory and lets go of Chuck's arm to wipe the tears of mirth from her eyes. "He was trying to impress the girl behind the counter and totally made an idiot of himself! I honestly thought I was pissing myse- ahhhhhhh," May stops as another contraction begins.

Ginger grabs her daughter's hand. "Just squeeze my hand, baby girl, as hard as you need to. Thats it, baby. Breathe." She coaches May through the contraction as Chuck and Steven look on in awe. "You're doing so good, sweet heart. It's almost over," she says, looking at the monitor. "Yep, there, it's done."

Ginger is wiping the sweat from May's face as the midwife comes inside. 

"How are you feeling, May?"

"In labor." 

The midwife chuckles. "Well, I need to check and see how far you're on. If you could scoot to the end of the bed and place your feet in the stirrups..."

It turns out that May is ten centimeters dilated and the baby is coming soon. The midwife leaves to get the doctor. Chuck's cellphone rings and he answers it, looking relieved. May has another contraction at the same time, but she can focus enough on Chuck's voice to know that he's talking to Ben. 

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh, fuck this hurts. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck," May chants, as her mother rubs her lower back. 

"Yeah, that's her," Chuck mutters. "We're in room 718 on the maternity ward. Yeah, just around the corner. Great."

"Is he here? Is Ben here?" May asks, crying now. 

Just then Ben runs through the door and straight to May. "I'm here, I'm here. I'm so so sorry, my meeting ran long and my phone must have gotten knocked on silent and..." he continues to ramble on until May grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him down for a quick kiss. 

"Alright, that's our cue, Chuck!" Steven says, clapping Ben on the back and bending to kiss May on the cheek. "You got this, sweetheart."

"Yeah, good luck, May!" Chuck says from half-way out the door. 

May smiles at her dad and then looks at Ben. "It's fine, you're here now. That's all that matters," May says between sniffles. 

Ginger smiles at their display. "She's ten centimeters dilated, Ben. The midwife went to get the doctor so it shouldn't be long now. I'm going to go get some water, I'll be right back."

Another contraction hits May and she swears it feels like her insides are being ripped apart. She tries to focus on Ben's face and breathing through the pain. She decides this does fuck all so she yells instead until it's over. Ginger comes back in, places a bottle of water next to Ben, and takes a seat on the other side of May. 

"You're doing great, baby. You're so close," Ben says soothingly, holding her hand and trying not to cry. 

Just as May's contraction subsides, the doctor comes in and checks May. She must decide she's ready because she calls in a couple of nurses who help May to get into the position. 

Before she knows it, Ginger and a short, stocky nurse are holding a leg each while Ben stays near May's head. 

"Alright, May. I'm going to need you to push with the next contraction. Are you ready?" the doctor asks. 

"Yes," says May breathlessly. 

And so she pushes. And she pushes. And she pushes until she feels like she'll never have the energy to do anything ever again. She's so tired that the pain is nothing compared to how exhausted she feels. Ben is amazing and he kisses her head and encourages her and says all the right things. 

Finally the doctor says, "He's crowning! One last push, May! One more, you can do this!"

The energy changes in the room. Ben sits up straighter, Ginger is openly weeping and May gathers strength from the shifting energy in the room. She thinks of her son, of her fiancee, and of herself. She thinks of everything that she's gone through to get to this moment - and she pushes one last time. 

Things happen very fast. May feels an intense burning and then relief. She hears her mother's high pitched squeals, the doctor saying something, and then her baby is placed upon her chest and she's never seen anyone or anything more beautiful in her life. 

She's sobbing now, almost blinded by her tears, but she can make out his squishy face, hear his beautiful cries. She tries to say something but all she can do is sob as Ben helps her hold Finn, tears falling freely from his eyes as well. 

They take Finn away to clean and weigh him and Ben follows him everywhere he goes. They finish with May and clean her up as well before Ben brings him over, wrapped in a blanket, warm and pink and gorgeous. May makes grabby hands and Ben smiles through the tears steadily flowing down his cheeks as he gently places the baby in her arms. 

"I can't believe we have a baby," May says, voice breaking, a huge grin on her face. 

Ben's own voice is wobbly with emotion. "And he's the most beautiful baby in the entire world."

"Of course he is, our gorgeous Finn." May smiles at Finn, stroking his warm pink cheek with her finger. She turns to look at Ben. "Thank you, Ben. I love you and our son so much." 

"Thank you, May. Thank you for loving me, and for giving me Finn. I love you and our son more than anything." Ben reaches to touch Finn's hand and Finn wraps his little hand around Ben's finger. 

Family and friends come and congratulate them and surround them with gifts and flowers and stuffed animals and balloons but nothing matters to either of them but their new little family. At the end of the day when everyone is gone, May, Finn, and Benedict lay together on the little hospital bed, happier than they ever thought they'd be. 

~fin~


End file.
